What If

Chapter Twenty:

Katniss

Shortly after my outburst to Haymitch I was promptly flown to District Two. It has changed vastly since I last saw it on the Victory Tour and most of the tasks given to me were very mundane, but it didn't matter. It was work, it was a distraction.

I sat on a makeshift bench, a pile of dead wild geese at my feet. The only time I was allowed to use my bow was hunting, which came easily in District Two. Flocks of geese had surrounded the district and hunting wasn't illegal, so there was always fresh game to feed the troops.

"Catnip?"

I looked up and saw a familiar face: Gale. I knew that he was positioned somewhere in District Two, but I had always imaged him in combat as he was actually allowed to fight unlike me.

When I saw him I instantly pulled him into a hug, burying my face in his chest. "Gale...."

He grinned as we pulled apart. "How is District Two treating you? I heard that they're keeping you quite busy here, huh?"

I looked down at the pile of dead geese and nodded. "I suppose, although hunting here is so easy it's a joke. It's good for me here, though. It's helping me clear my mind. I did miss you, though. It's better now that you're here..."

"I've missed you, too. Actually, I've been worried about you," he said. I frowned. "I was shocked when I learned you left Thirteen so abruptly like that, leaving Prim behind."

"She's becoming a doctor now," I said, although I felt somewhat guilty now at Gale's comments. "I finally feel useful."

Gale rolled his eyes, causing me to cross my arms against my chest. "Katniss, you're the mockingjay. I doubt the rebels would be this far without you. I'm glad you're here, Katniss."

He slowly slipped his hands into mine. They were warm despite the cool air of District Two and were calloused from holding a bow, not much different from my own.

His arms began to wrap around me, pulling me closer to him. I allowed him to pull me to his chest into an embrace, which slowly transitioned into a kiss.

His lips were warm and soft, just how I had remembered them. My hands found their way down his arms and I gripped his waist.

After we pulled apart several feelings fluttered inside of me. I hadn't resisted the kiss and I didn't regret it—it had been nice, familiar. Then why did I still feel so guilty?

"I'm sorry," he murmured as he softly tucked a piece of my hair out from my face and behind my ear.

"Don't be," I mumbled as I kissed his neck, making my way towards his lips again, craving more. "None of this is your fault."

Gale shook his head and deflected my kiss. "I'm not sorry the kiss, Katniss. I'm sorry for my thoughts."

"Thoughts?"

"Yes....well—before I left for District Two I saw Peeta," he admitted. My grip on him loosened. "I didn't talk to him, just observed..."

"You realized you had no competition anymore."

Gale frowned, but didn't speak. His hold on me loosened, causing me to grow desperate for his touch.

"The old Peeta would want me to be happy, Gale," I said, trying to convince myself. "He'd want me to move on."

"Are you happy?"

"With you I am," I admitted, my heart fluttering. "We can be together, Gale....my relationship with Peeta is irreparable, we both know that."

"We can't do this, can we? I know Peeta will never get better, but will you?" Gale asked. I frowned, my hands falling to my sides. "Katniss?"

Will I ever get better?

After The Gunshot

I awoke suddenly, my body wracked with pain. I opened my eyes and saw a bleak hospital room of Thirteen, which made no sense to me. The last thing I remembered was being in District Two and the gunshots.

"Calm down, you're alright," a doctor said in an attempt to sooth me as they noticed my thrashing. I hand't even seen them.

"What about the baby?" I asked desperately, my hand finding my stomach.

"They're healthy," they told me. The doctor explain how I'd been shot but my armor had protected me, leaving me with severe bruising. They explained how I had been medflighted back to Thirteen for treatment. "Now, you need to rest. We're going to knock you out again for a bit, alright?"

I didn't even protest. The next time I woke the ghostly figure of Johanna Mason was sitting on the edge of my bed, causing me to wince in pain whenever she moved, which caused her to grin.

"Hey, Brainless," Johanna said. She was still wearing a hospital gown and her hair had slowly began to grow back to cover her bruises and scars. Then she pulled out my morphling tube, shoving it into her own arm and sighing with relief. "You don't mind, do you? I didn't think so. Thanks, they cut mine off a while back now."

We sat there in awkward silence, Johanna sighing with relief as the drug reentered her system. I studied her, frowning at all the scars that riddled her body. I had caused them.

She'd been tortured alongside Peeta, but the difference between them was that she had actually known the rebel information unlike him, he was clueless.

I wanted to apologize, but what words would I even say? Anything I did manage to come up with wouldn't be nearly good enough, and even if it was she wouldn't accept it. That wasn't like her.

"Does it hurt?" Johanna asked, finally breaking the silence. She gestured towards my ribs.

I shrugged. "As much as getting shot can."

Johanna laughed a hollow laugh. "Ha! Shot?! That bullet never touched you, brainless. Cinna saw to that. Besides, I wasn't talking about your ribs."

I frowned. "The—the baby?"

Johanna nodded. "It looks terribly uncomfortable."

"I mean, I suppose so," I replied. "I haven't really noticed it amongst the other pain I'm in."

Johanna nodded. We sat there for a few more minutes before she heard her doctor coming. She mumbled a few crude words under her breath before going back to her room.

This became a daily occurrence. I didn't mind as, despite the pain I was in, I didn't want to become addicted to morphling. I'd seen the way the morphlings had looked during the quell, and I didn't want to become shriveled and gray like them. Besides, it helped me feel as if I was paying Johanna back for all she'd done for me. It wasn't nearly enough, but it was a start.

And soon, during these times, we began to chat. It started with brief conversations and quickly turned to Johanna asking me intrusive questions, but I answered them all.

And with that, our friendship formed. Well, maybe not friendship. Allies was more appropriate.