Better Than Tears (sweeter than sleep)

But it's alright

When Hoseok opened the door a moment later, Jungkook yelped and hit his finger on the doorframe in surprise.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow. "That happy to see me, huh?"

Jungkook shook out his tingles in his hand and tried to find words in the dark chasm of his panicked brain.

"Jimin is staying late at the studio this week. You know that, right?"

Jungkook did know that, actually.

"But even if you didn't mean to knock on my door, do you want to come in?"

Jungkook did want to come in, actually.

Hoseok calmly stepped aside so Jungkook could limp indoors, his shaky legs very apparent. Once the door was shut, Hoseok took a moment to eye Jungkook up and down, as if he were considering what to do next. Jungkook figured that's exactly what he was doing and trusted that Jimin's friend would not disappoint.

"Do you want tea? I think that would be a good idea. And candles! That would be good, too. I have a bunch that Jimin gave me; he should've left me out of his obsession, but they are nice in winter. What do you feel like today?"

"Um," was all Jungkook came up with, his brain chasm still laughing at his attempts to string a single, coherent thought together. "Whatever."

"You can't 'whatever' me, I'm not the mind-reader Jimin is," Hoseok grumbled. "Rosehip and chamomile alright? Supposed to be calming. You could use calm, probably."

"That's fine," Jungkook managed, plopping down onto a chair with as much grace as a stork doing ballet. His legs felt suddenly more tired than the rest of him.

"I'm feeling like oranges today. This one," and he held out a candle toward Jungkook. "It smells very orange, and florally." Hoseok lit the candle and stood with his eyes shut for a moment. "Mm, lovely."

Jungkook knew that Hoseok was being normal, but also doing his level best to be Jimin for him and it made Jungkook's heart melt a little in a good way. Also, he realized that he was glad it was Hoseok here with him and not Jimin. Hoseok was his own sort of comfort, a subtle difference that made all the difference and Jungkook was glad of it.

"Hyung?"

"Yeah?" Hoseok was peering at his collection of odd mugs.

"You don't have to, um, I mean, you're already good enough for me just as you." Jungkook tilted his head, playing back his words to make sure they made sense. "I mean, yeah, I guess I wasn't thinking and I was only thinking about Jimin, but I don't mind having you instead. I like you, too."

His voice was remarkably steady and Jungkook hoped it was because his panic was already dissipating, not because it was working up to a breakthrough for later.

Hoseok paused in the middle of pulling down his selected mugs and turned to face Jungkook. "I sorta figured I should be Jimin for you, since he's not here," he said sheepishly.

A smile crept over Jungkook's face without warning, causing Hoseok to smile too. "You're a different sort of comfort. I like you as you."

"You're alright with me? Like, just me?" Hoseok asked.

"Yeah," Jungkook breathed out, feeling suddenly exhausted and distanced from himself, like it had taken all his energy to say those things. Latent panic? There were names for these feelings and he knew them, but Jungkook didn't want to take the time to label. He just wanted to be held.

And Hoseok, true to prediction, didn't disappoint.

Jungkook still liked Jimin's hugs the best. But Hoseok's hugs were warm and comforting and genuine and he enjoyed them nonetheless.