Better Than Tears (sweeter than sleep)

Will you stay by my side?

The stew was still untouched in Jungkook's hands when Taehyung reappeared.

He stopped in front of the couch and looked down at him silently for a very long moment before reaching down and taking the bowl back from him. "Are you not hungry, Jungkook?"

Jungkook didn't know what he heard in Taehyung's tone that made him feel so guilty on top of his ever mounting anxiety - and he'd already had two attacks that day - maybe it was the gentle reproach, maybe he was reading too deep into things like he usually did. Maybe Taehyung thought he was too stiff. Maybe he wasn't as forgiving as Jimin. Jungkook felt his thoughts scrambling around in an effort to come up with a response that would satisfy the other end of the conversation.

"Jungkook?" Taehyung's hand descended to rest on his shoulder. Even though the touch was light, it was infinitely heavier to a desperate and nervous Jungkook. "It's okay if you're not hungry, but Jimin said you had ramen with you before. You know that's not real food, right? Ha, I'm one to talk."

Taehyung sat down next to the slightly trembling boy, either not noticing or just ignoring the shaking. Jungkook guessed it was probably the latter. "I eat way too much not-food and Jimin scolds me for it. Guess it rubs off. Jimin's been rubbing off on me since we first met."

"When was that?" Jungkook found it in himself to say, surprisingly.

"Oh, years and years and centuries ago, when I was just a little street cat with a penchant for trouble and Jimin was a refined gent with a penchant for getting me out of it. It was a perfect match, really. We're practically soulmates. Mina always rolls her eyes when I say that. Thanks for not rolling your eyes. I mean, I guess I'm a little dramatic, but you need a little of that in life, right? Good drama, that is. Are you cold, Jungkookie? I can get you a blanket or a sweater or I could just hug you." He looked sideways at the boy who was trying his best to pretend he was fine. "Hmm, a hug, then."

And Jungkook was immediately enveloped by two long arms that wrapped around his skinny frame with ease, pressing him against a warmer frame. Taehyung didn't smell like Jimin did, all apples and cinnamon. He smelled more like lemons and spring breezes and the scent was entirely comfortable. Jungkook didn't relax. His muscles were too tense, too strung out and worn out and coiled on one another. He wanted to trust Taehyung as much as he was able to trust Jimin, but there was always such a disconnect between his mind and his body.

He didn't relax; if anything, he stiffened.

Taehyung was the type to notice, of course, not that it was hard to notice. His noticing was different from Jimin's though. With Jimin, Jungkook always knew when he noticed, but it was a subtle type of noticing, one where he'd notice and then move on. It wasn't a mentionable type of notice. Jungkook appreciated that, right from the very beginning when Jimin decided to remark on coffee instead of the obvious wreck that Jungkook was in that moment.

Taehyung noticed a lot bigger, or, well, noticeably.

He jumped backwards, eyes filled with concern and Jungkook's head and heart ached with the amount of emotions running through them. "Are you okay? Did I scare you? Jimin said you were fragile." Jimin said he was fragile? It was true, he was, but still. "I'm sorry! I do everything impulsively, but you looked like you needed a hug..Kookie? You look like you can't breathe."

Jungkook felt like he couldn't breathe, or that he couldn't feel himself breathing, sort of. He wished Jimin was there. He wished his hyung was there. He wished he had a pillow and someone was singing him to sleep again. He was going to cry. Oh no, not again. How many times was he going to break down in front of newly-made friends? Wait, he considered Taehyung to be a friend?