Bring me the light

Chapter 11

"There were always those times when her mind went to war with her heart. The fight between what she knew, what she felt and what she had to do."

Chapter 11: Because I have a boyfriend

Previously:

Why do you care Noah? Why? You think that just because you saw me in that condition that night you're supposed to take care of me? I don't want pity Noah. I hate it. So stop. Stop this. Stop caring. Stop asking if anything is wrong. Just stop." It started out as a yell but ended up with my voice breaking.

He cupped my face and used his thumbs to wipe my tears that I didn't even know that had fallen.

"I never gave you pity Summers. Ever. I saw a broken girl behind a strong faced and a happy mask and decided that I didn't want that to be a mask anymore, I wanted her to be happy, I wanted her to smile and I wanted, no I needed to be one of the people that could make her smile." He said softly.

I gave him a soft smile.

"Now there's a hint of the smile that I've grown to love."

My smile got wider and a blush made its way on my cheeks.

"Riley..." He said softly. I don't know when we had leaned in but our faces were now inches away.

"Fuck it." And with that he closed the space between us.

Now:

His mouth was on mine and his hands were circling my waist. Our lips played in perfect sync and we were kissing as if the other person was our last drop of water in a Summer day on a desert.

It felt surreal to be kissing him, I could feel fire taking over my insides, it felt like in that moment I was safe and free and the only person that mattered was Noah and the only moment that mattered was the present, our kiss.

But common sense had to knock on my brain and I pulled away breathless.

"I-" Noah started but I cut him off.

"I have to go. I'm sorry." I untangled myself from his arms and ran away towards my house.

I heard Noah's voice calling me but I didn't turn back. I had done something I had promised myself I wouldn't. I had caught feelings for someone, I had kissed Noah even though I had promised myself there would be no feelings anymore.

I couldn't allow myself to feel. I had a plan, stay away from dad, no feelings shown or felt, finish high school and get the hell away from this country. No one was supposed to see the real me, they were supposed to see my happy face and let me be.

"Chocolate, are you okay?" I heard Grams' voice. I guess I arrived home without realizing it.

"I kissed Noah." I said looking down. What if Grams' started saying things like dad did?

"So why are you so sad? You've been crying my dear, don't you like the guy?" She asked calmly.

"Yes, no, I don't know. I can't afford to like him Grams, I can't sign myself up for more pain." I said clenching my fists.

"Honey, liking, loving, aren't always meant to bring pain. They might bring happiness, joy, even a sense of freedom."

"No. No. I can't do this. I won't do this. Everyone will leave me eventually, I won't let them break me." I said shaking my head and ran up the stairs.