A Collection of Odds & Ends

It's Time That I Come Clean (Ubbe - Vikings)

Knocking on the door felt strange, it felt unnatural, and if Ubbe had ever had an out of body experience – probably that too. Shifting around nervously on the other side of the polished black door, he alternated between shoving his hands in his pockets and rubbing them together. What was taking you so fucking long? Poising his fist to knock again, he abruptly halted when the door swung open and you stood glaring at him.

Your hair was a mess, dark circles encased your eyes, and your clothes were wrinkled. Not a state he was used to seeing you in, unless you were ill. Ubbe forced a faint smile, ducking his head to get a better look at you.

"Can I come in?"

"Do whatever you want, Ubbe." You grumbled, scratching the back of your head and moving to the side. Allowing him to enter, you stifle a yawn and close the door behind him.

Three weeks, four days, and two hours have gone since Ubbe was last in your apartment. Three weeks, four days, and two hours since you had been left to live with the decision that you'd so graciously made. Three weeks, four days, and two hours since your relationship of four years, one month, and five days had came to an end.

"I uh," He nervously glanced around, as if he were expecting something to jump out and grab him, "Just came to get my things and then I guess I'm leaving."

You resisted the urge to tell him that he'd already left and that this was a pointless visit. Ubbe had already taken most of his things, sending his brothers to collect them. You had never pegged Ubbe to be a coward. Somewhere between taking the couch and the television, Bjorn had informed you that Ubbe would have been there, but he wasn't ready to face you.

"Take what you want, I'm going back to bed." You mutter, throwing him a sideways glance. Ubbe nodded, barely moving from the spot where he stood glued to the floor. "Your stuff is in the closet. I took the liberty of making this easy."

"Thank you," Ubbe was quiet. His hands shoved in his pockets. "So, are you working a lot?"

Pulling your sweater around your body, you shake your head at his attempt to make small talk, but answer anyway. "12 hour days, have to pay the bills somehow."

Ubbe chewed on his bottom lip, his beard hiding the act. "That reminds me, I changed the water and electric. They're all in your name, now."

Wonderful! Two more bills, along with rent that you would have to manage.

"Alright." You answer curtly. "Well, I'm tired so..."

Leaving the chit chat behind, Ubbe opened the closet door, pulling out the box of odds and ends. He would shove it in the car, digging through it later – when he was ready. Torn between making more small talk and walking out, without a word, Ubbe stood watching you for what felt like an eternity. Blue eyes searching your soul, trying to find answers.

Satisfied with whatever thoughts were running through his mind, he stepped forward wrapping his arms around you. Surprised by the action, you stiffen against his embrace.

Against his hug, you shiver and close your eyes, inhaling in an attempt to calm down every sense in your body. Who knew a hug could stir up so much emotions. Foolishly you had let go of something great, all in the need to find something better. Little good did that do.

"Ubbe," You squeak against his chest, biting back the words threatening to tumble from your lips. You had no right to ask him the one thing that plagued your mind. Why? You didn't deserve anything from him and here he was, being too kind for your own good. "I don't know what to say."

"It's going to be okay, right?" Ubbe kisses the top of your head, his hand gently rubbing your back.

"I know," You concede with a short sniffle. "You should get going." You back away, wiping your hand across your eyes.

"Okay," Ubbe knew that he would never get what he wanted. Despite everything, you would never apologize for your actions. He'd be old and gray, on his death bed, before he'd ever hear you admit to your wrong doing.

You'd been a fool to think Ubbe would never find out, until you'd grown careless you were certain that he never would. You'd stupidly agreed to meeting at that bar, never suspecting Sigurd to be there with his friends. There was no way to deny the video when Ubbe had came to you, asking why you were all over another man on the dance floor. Your actions had set all of this into motion and some how, some way, Ubbe was still being pleasant to you.

A part of you had expected Ubbe to try and work all of this out, to forgive you, and try to make this work. When he'd told you that it was over, your heart hadn't even bothered to break, for you it had been over for months. You wouldn't have hated Ubbe if he'd tried to seek his revenge, instead of kicking you out, he'd quietly gathered his things and walked away.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to..." You held up your hand cutting him off.

"You don't have to, Ubbe. It's better if we don't." You caution. "This is where it ends, I'm afraid."

"As I was saying," Ubbe furrowed his brow. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. I'm still around if you ever need me. You should know me better than that. I'm hurt and I can't love you, anymore, but I'm always there when friends need me."

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you Ubbe."

"That's it, then." Ubbe sucked in a deep breath. "I'll see you around." Stooping to pick up his things, he gave a slight nod. You held the door, allowing him to take one last look before turning his back and walking away.