Life's Fear

Chapter Eight

Was he just a fragile eighteen-year-old masquerading as nothing?

"Keep what up?" I asked back, although I already knew what he was referring to.

"Your slowness," he replied, eyes past me and firmly fixated on the pebbles in my locker.

Without replying, I turned back to the contents of my locker, inadvertently rather slowly. Due to this, I swear I heard Jason chuckle behind me, but I didn't move after that. It got me thinking, even though I should have been getting my books out of my locker and storing some from my bag back in there so I didn't have to lug them around until the last lesson when I would require them.

It was easy sometimes to masquerade as nothing or the wallpaper or even just bricks. To just stand there and watch the world go by was an underrated treasure and a blessing in disguise. A disguise – that's what it was. You could see couples arguing though it should have been private. You can see someone crying, though they wish they could be hidden. You can see wrongdoing that should be occurring in the shadows.

Other times when the spotlight is on you, all you want is to hide back in the shadows, but you can't. But you can't face the attention either.

Being one of six siblings, it was easier to become nothing, especially with eighteen years of practice under my belt. It was like second nature to me now. It came naturally, just like how Jason's façade was to him. How could people walk beside him and not even notice him there. Did he have to make some life-changing revelation for people to notice him?

Teachers lacked a tendency to ask him questions in class or for him to present his work. That's what Max had told me at one point as she shared several classes with him. The only teacher I bet gave him even an ounce of attention was Mr Williams the sports teacher; maybe he saw something in Jason that no one else was ever able to locate.

"Five," Jason said, startling me.

Before I could ask, "What?" he said, "Four." Pause. "Three." Pause. "Two." Pause. "One."

Pause.

The bell chimed.

Closing my locker, and despite the absurdness of the situation, Jason was smirking when I turned back around. He tapped his watch on his wrist a few times and said, "Got it synchronised to the bell's timing."

It was all I could do to stare at him.

And he walked off a moment later without saying anything at all back to me. Though I guess he wasn't expected to, considering I didn't reply to him about his watch synchronisation. Dumbfounded, I watched him go for a few seconds until two girls were walking on the outskirts of me and scowled in my direction. I knew for a fact that if it had been Jason instead of me, they wouldn't have given him a second thought.

It was that moment when Max texted me, but having been hauled back to reality, I was rushing through the corridors to get to form before Miss Wayne could begin with the register and query about the absence of Maxine Adams. Her eyes would skim around the class waiting for someone to answer her. If they didn't, she waited a little longer before sighing and continuing. She was the life and soul of a party, I swear.

The moment I sat down, Miss Wayne was entering. She was temporarily distracted, so I looked at my phone to view Max's text.

Max: Think I've caught a bug off some girl from netball or soccer practice. Need to stay at home L

Yes, along with her ten exclamation marks too many misdemeanour, she also used emoticons (emojis).

"Maxine Adams," called out Miss Wayne.