Life's Fear

Chapter Twenty-Six

Jason could not conceal the grin on his face afterwards.

It was cute, I don't deny, but I felt somewhat guilty that I wouldn't be able to confide in Max about any of this. I had to push it to one side though, because every time I glanced up at Jason – as I was resting my head on his chest and his arm was around me – he just made me smile and I couldn't be in a bad mood.

After all, it was both our first times. Jason declared he didn't feel much different, and I had to confess, neither did I, but it was still special in the aspect that it was with him and not some random guy I'd picked up after a night of excessive drinking and consistent puking. We were bonding and this was part of the process. We were growing closer and maybe soon I could call him mine, and vice versa.

But that didn't hide the fact that I still possessed the picture of him committing a crime which could prosecute him. That picture, presumably, alone could be enough evidence to say he's committed a crime or a felony or whatever it's deemed as. The technical term didn't matter – and not just because I was unaware about it – but because it was still a crime, nonetheless.

"Is it bad to say I want some food?" he asked, a cheeky grin on his lips.

Fair to say I was pretty hungry too.

So we ended up in the kitchen fifteen minutes later when we'd both changed into something suitable and Jason had finally paused from kissing me for us to scurry to the kitchen for food. It was virtually dinner time now anyway, and though Jason's mum wasn't here, we had a decent meal. Jason knew his way around a kitchen, surprisingly enough.

"When Mum was never here, Scarlett and I always used to have to fend for ourselves," he explained. "Naturally with her being younger, I had to do the cooking and preparing. Sometimes she just took the overall credit for it though."

Smiling I said, "Would you let me take credit for this meal?"

Having been taking our chicken pieces off the tray and depositing them on our plates, Jason turned his head over his shoulder slightly to see me as I was not directly behind him, but more to the side, and smirked. It ended up pouting out the moment before he turned back to the food.

The arrant resemblance of his appearance now to how it was in the photograph I'd captured of him on the first vandalism was immense. My stomach churned just thinking about it, honestly, and it made me lose my appetite. Well, that was until Jason put our plates on the table and I was looking at it with my mouth watering. My appetite had miraculously reappeared.

But it still made me feel guilty, nevertheless. At some point I'd have to disclose it to Jason, but I knew the longer I was to leave it, the worse it'll become. But right now, after we just lost our virginity to one another, I didn't want to spoil the day/night. I wanted it to be ours and ours alone. I didn't want any distractions from our phones or laptops or work or anything. Just us tonight. Though thinking about it, I hadn't checked my phone since I left for Jason's house, and there was a possibility I had a message waiting for me from Max or even a family member. But that wasn't important right now.

"This looks great," I said, still staring at it in awe as Jason had gone back to the drawers to fetch a knife and fork for us both.

His cheeks turned a light shade of red. "It's just chicken and fries."

"Fries which you made yourself and chicken you prepared yourself," I clarified, wanting to make sure to note the details and effort he'd gone through to prepare this meal for us.

His cheeks turned a darker shade of red by this point, so he got his fork and stuffed a small fry into his mouth. Considering I was still gazing at him in awe and hadn't even touched the knife or fork at the left of my plate – never mind the glorious-looking food placed right in front of me and tantalising my senses (though not my taste buds) – Jason turned back to me and just chuckled, keeping a hand in front of his mouth to hide the food.

"When you taste it, then you can judge," he explained, after his cheeks had calmed down and he could speak properly without his mouth full of food.

So I did. And it tasted the exact same as it appeared: absolutely glorious.

Once the food had been scoffed and we'd cleaned up, we went upstairs and watched a film on his laptop, though the last half of the film had been completely forgotten about considering we both desired a round two. The credits were rolling as we'd finished.

"Do you regret anything about today?" Jason asked me, his arm around me again as I was lying on his chest. It was beginning to hurt my ear because we'd been in this position for a while, but I categorically did not want to move. Not even shunt backwards a little.

"No," I said, and I meant it.

I didn't need the candles or the rose petals or the embellished scene. The passion was there and so was the lust and love – if I could call it love. Was it too soon to label it love? Either way, they were there. And it was amazing. Just being with Jason was all I needed and craved. This was perfect. It didn't need to be at night or at prom night where it was most common for teenagers to lose their virginity.

Right here. Right now. Chapman's Drive. Jason's house. Jason's bedroom. In the afternoon.

"Do you?"

He grinned a little but in a sheepish way. "Only to have lasted a little longer so there would be more to enjoy."

That alone made me cheeks a raging crimson colour, I was sure. A part of me wanted that too, but considering he'd only lost his virginity today, it was understandable. Jason, on the other hand, since we'd grown closer and shared all that we had between one another, had crawled out his shell completely now. It was endearing and just made him a whole lot more attractive.

Needless to say, we went for a round three before we called it a night. We didn't sleep naked, however. That was another cliché. We didn't need that. Jason had boxers and jeans on, and I slept in one of his graphic tees, though I didn't care much for the design on the front which I was viewing from upside down anyway. But it smelt of him and I just wanted to wear something of his. My pyjamas in my bag of essentials I'd brought with me here were basically forgotten about the moment they were on the floor in his room. They were still in the same place, if not they had toppled over if they'd been knocked inadvertently.

"Are you going to tell Max about any of this?" he asked me, his eyes having been closed for the past half an hour. This was roughly minutes before he began snoring softly.

"Do you want me to?" I asked back, wondering what the right answer here was. I wanted to confess all to her considering she was my best friend, but I knew she didn't wholly like Jason and he made her uncomfortable. But he's changed since those first impressions of breaking into my locker to place the pebbles there and sneaking up behind us.

"I don't mind," he murmured, his voice full of fatigue. You could tell in that moment he was minutes away from falling asleep, though I felt wide awake now. "Would it make her like me at all?" The question I knew was initially proposed as a joke, but with the lack of effort he was putting into his tone, it came out just as a normal question. He was insanely tired.

"Who knows," I breathed, though I wondered whether he truly heard me or not, because he didn't reply.

The first thing to wake me up was the doorbell dinging throughout the house.

My head shot up only to see Jason still sleeping... and hear him still sleeping, for that matter. He still had his trousers on and boxers, but he was devoid of a top. I'd put one of his shirts on to sleep in, though to go downstairs I put on my pair of jeans and full underwear. The doorbell went again, but still Jason did not arouse. So I took Jason's house keys off his bedside table and unlocked the front door with them.

I didn't want to wake Jason up because he seemed so tranquil and it could have just been someone advertising some product Jason and his mum didn't even want nor require. As I was awake, there was no point alerting him if he was still unconscious. Better to just send them on their way and get back upstairs as soon as possible. But when I opened the door, it wasn't quite so simple.

Two cops greeted me with sombre expressions. "Miss, does a Jason McCann live here?"

Oh, shit.