Life's Fear

Chapter Fifteen

Turns out, I should have taken "earlier" with a pinch of salt. It was two in the morning.

I'd received the reply from Jason during dinner when I'd stuffed my phone in my pocket in a rushed moment when Mum was hollering everyone to beckon them downstairs. Mum stared at me when the phone dinged, but said nothing except, "Someone's becoming popular. Is it a boy?" with a wiggle of the eyebrows.

Shaking my head rapidly, I stuffed a mouthful of chicken in my mouth to give me an excuse to not say anything I'd regret or that would progress the conversation further. I sneaked a glance over at Jesse who stared at me hard for a moment too long before I turned away. I was sure my cheeks were reddening, so I kept my face down until I was sure my skin had returned to its natural colour.

But as soon as dinner was done, I was back up in my room replying, though I couldn't believe "early" was defined as two in the morning to Jason. Nonetheless, I said nothing. It occurred to me that this was probably the better option with him. Either he would just ignore my plea for clarification or his reply would consist of some sort of ambiguity.

As per, Jason was chucking pebbles at my window. Having been alert and somewhat on edge due to the time slowly ploughing into the early hours of the next morning, I was up and at the window before the second one smacked it. It was a school night, so everyone was categorically asleep and would not be aroused by a pebble against a window... or two.

I held my finger up at Jason and he stuffed his hands back in the pockets of his jacket. It seemed chilly outside, so I grabbed my coat I'd already deposited on my bed beforehand. This is how prepared I had been, and then I found out our definitions of "earlier" were dissimilar... by a vast amount.

Jason was still in the same position even after I ran out and closed the door softly behind me. "Got your own house keys this time?" he asked, ridiculing me.

"Yes," I said seriously, ambling slowly up to him.

He seemed in a good mood as I kept my eyes on him. Something seemed a little off, but I knew I would never fathom that out. Does this boy ever sleep? Perhaps I was on to something there... I wondered. Maybe he just didn't need rest to function normally, though I don't think the way he acted could be defined as "normal".

"Why are you staring at me funny?" he asked.

"I'm not," I replied defensively, turning away at once. "So where are we going?"

"I found something I want to show you."

It might have been the reflection of the moon or the twinkling of the stars in the dark sky, but there seemed to be a glint in his eye. Was he resisting the urge to smirk as well? I had no idea what Jason would classify as something interesting to show a girl like me, so I followed with intent. Conversation was limited. He kept his hands in his pockets and his gait characteristically loose.

We ventured through avenues beyond avenues beyond lanes and streets and even roads. We ended up journeying through streets I would typically avoid, but I couldn't decide how I felt with Jason beside me. On one side, I felt as though he could defend himself given the predicament. When I stayed the night, I discovered he was toned... he had muscle, but he was still thin. He might be able to throw a punch with one person, but what if there were two? I would be no assistance at all, that was certified.

We ended up at a warehouse, now derelict, that I was sure part of it used to be a sex shop. In fact, when I looked at the road, my theory was correct. Everyone at school, freshman and seniors and between used to converse highly about it, though most of them couldn't actually pass the threshold. Though I was never interested in ever coming out this far into Bellmere to check it out for myself, everyone still raved about it. It was giving me the creeps thinking about it now.

Armen's Lane. That was the road. And the name of the shop? ARMEN'S SURPRISES, in that hot pink colour with fancy calligraphy. I had no idea who Armen was, but it instigated innumerable puns in school... ones that were quite unprintable so won't be mentioned.

"Look what I found then," he said, gesturing to the wall which somehow, I had overlooked when I remembered the past use of this building.

WE ARE HIDDEN.

"This building used to be part of a sex shop," I announced, though admittedly I was mesmerised by the words. "Has anyone seen this yet?" My voice was much softer that time and almost a whisper. The words were disfigured temporarily as I exhaled.

"I know," was all he said before adding, "and nope. No news about it yet. But it's the middle of the night." He pulled out his phone and then corrected himself. "Okay, it's almost twenty to three."

"How did you find it?" I asked, trying to ignore the feeling bubbling up inside of my stomach.

The feeling wasn't because I was annoyed that it was early and we had school in a few hours. In fact, it was no longer a night. It was a morning. But nonetheless, the feeling... I had no idea. I was in awe that Jason had brought me here to show me his creation. Who knew if he knew that I knew it was him? Here he was showing me. The scarlet spray.

Words mashed and under one another. Scarlet letters. Enigmatic phrase.

WE ARE HIDDEN.

Jason, are you hiding? Is someone hiding with you? Are you hiding someone?

"What do you think the person meant by it?" I asked him, hoping to goad some insight into his life out of him or some sort of explanation to why he was doing this.

None of his phrases had remained in Bellmere, and this would be no exception either. It would be gone by midday, if that. However, I don't know many people who would decide to walk this far out. We were almost at the back of the warehouse, mind, and I had a feeling people did drug deals back here, and no way would they snitch to the police officers.

Jason shrugged. He said nothing.

Real helpful. Just brilliant.

"Anything?" I urged.

"Maybe it's just words," he said. "Maybe the vandal is out of his head." His voice quietened. "Just silly words."

"I don't think they're just silly words. Silly words would be something useless that didn't mean anything. Everything the vandal has written has been negative. LIFE'S FEAR. WE CREATE DARKNESS. THE DARKNESS IS ALIVE. And now WE ARE HIDDEN."

Turning to me, Jason seemed mildly impressed. "Someone's done their research." His lips began to pout in a smirk. "So, bright spark, what do you think they all mean if they connected in some obscure way?"

"Well, I don't exactly know."

Truth was, I just didn't want to get it wrong so I didn't seem like a complete fool in front of him, though perhaps that would have sparked some explanation from him. But whilst I had been ruminating over what to say, I realised I had left it too long and the time had since passed for me to say something.

"Are you always up this late on a school night?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Sometimes I have trouble sleeping." The smirk had since vanished, but he turned back to me. "If you had to describe the graffiti – all of them – in a single short phrase, to sum up them all, what would it be?" He seemed genuinely inquisitive, so I decided this warranted a long contemplative pause.

"We're drowning in self-destruction," I said at last.