Life's Fear

Chapter Thirty-Five

I was anxious all morning just to see what had been deposited in my locker this time.

None of us in my family are morning people, so when I was up before any other sibling for once – even with the deficiency of sleep – Jesse just didn't want to move at all, though he had work and he was my ride to school. Kendall actually had a day off today, but she was meeting up with her boyfriend later on in the day to do whatever. I couldn't really care. I was dying to know what was in my locker.

"Jesse, get up!" I hissed to him, shaking his body by his arm several times that there might have been an earthquake for all he knew. He seemed quite out of it, but he was going to be up out of bed in the successive five minutes or I was walking to school without him, even though it was cold, and I didn't want to resort to that level.

"Why are you acting weirdly?" Mum asked me once I made my way downstairs for breakfast.

Dad had already left at this point, though I was sure he was scoping the Internet this morning to check to see if anyone – I'm sure he had a particular person in mind – had vandalised some property of Bellmere. And when his search was inconclusive, he gave up and grumbled all through getting ready knowing what I had done wasn't in vain.

I'm also positive Dad wouldn't have even uttered a word to me had he been here this morning whilst I was awake. He may have glanced once or twice in my general direction, I suppose, but that would have been just about it. It was saddening to think about my dad treating me this way, though I should have known there would be hurtful ramifications of vandalising school property and committing a crime all in the name of love for someone who no one would even think twice about except me.

Mum seemed guarded around me, but at least she was conversing with me. There was something to act as a foundation to get back to where we once were, though I had a suspicion it would take a long time. I'd broken their trust and they had every right to go to the cops about what I had done and get my deserved punishment, but I had a feeling the shame they would feel between friends and colleagues was deterring them from following through. They'd probably discussed it extensively in bed or as soon as they were alone.

"I forgot homework at school and it's in for later today, so I was going to try and do as much of it before homeroom," I lied.

Mum frowned. It was hard to determine whether she believed me or not; perhaps she wanted to believe me, but something was telling her that I was indeed lying and just wanted to see Jason. I'm sure she had the fleeting thought that this was in relation to Jason. And she was right. But she didn't need that suspicion confirming from me.

When Jesse was ultimately ready – after I'd settled on the sofa and to pass time decided to swipe through different forms of social media – I was bouncing to get in his car, and throughout the journey my knees were bouncing. "So how did it all go last night?" he asked, turning into the school parking lot. We were actually the earliest we'd ever been to school, so it wasn't very busy yet.

"What do you mean?" was my initial response. I had thought everyone was asleep when I left.

"When you went out. You were gone for several hours – you must have been. The bags under your eyes suggest very little sleep." He turned to me quickly with a smirk on his lips as he pulled haphazardly into a bay just so I could eject out of his car and dash nonchalantly to my locker to see if Jason had followed through with his words already.

I had messaged him earlier this morning quizzing him on what he meant, but I had yet to receive a reply, and thinking now, I don't think I was to expect one at all. Jason wouldn't want to ruin the surprise like that. He didn't seem the person to continuously message all day long on the phone, so when it did happen, I knew now to cherish it.