Life's Fear

Chapter Forty-Nine

"Jason, perhaps you'd like to stay..." Mum suggested.

Jason had angled our bodies, now that we were stood up and my face was buried in his chest, so that I couldn't see what was happening behind me unless I turned around, and even then, his arms were so tight around my body that he wouldn't enable that. He stiffened a little at the suggestion, but replied with, "I don't want to intrude, and perhaps it should be time for just family."

Pause. "You are Blair's family now, Jason. I think it would do her some good to have you by her side tonight."

Jason said nothing, but his grip tightened around my body.

"Come on. We should get home."

Jason's arm clung around my shoulders during the walk, but I ruled this down to ensuring I was steady and balanced. I didn't feel so steady and balanced. My knees were trembling so much I felt as though they were going to just give up and I'd fall to the sidewalk again. My hands were scratched quite extensively, so they needed cleaning before I could do anything. Before I could even think about going to bed and doing the rudimentary activities such as homework. Homework was categorically out of the question tonight.

What should have happened tonight was that I'd have leftovers from dinner and work on homework for a little bit before bed. Eating now would just make me vomit, and how could I ever think about closing my eyes, when all I'd see is my dad getting hit by the car. I would never be able to identify the car. That bit was hazy. Would any of us be able to identify the car? But the image of Dad, with his body contorting, twisting and snapping, was as crisp as ever. That would always stay with me, and it would never lose its image quality, like the photos I would capture. I couldn't even think about photography right now. I hadn't actually been thinking of photography for a long while. Was that what Jason had done to me? He had this profound influence over me that I would rather be with him than pursuing a hobby I have adored for years?

Jesse was loitering downstairs to greet us, but as soon as he spotted Jason cradling me, he was aware something was wrong. Something had gone perilously wrong. I could barely meet his gaze, and when I did, I was sure I appeared out of it. I felt as though as I was.

"What's wrong with Blair?" I heard him ask.

"She's in shock," Mum replied just as Jason glanced down at me. I could only stare back at him when he did without saying a single word in response.

"What happened?" he repeated, and I turned away from Jason's gaze. After a pause, he asked, sterner this time, "Where's Dad?"

Kendall, being the only one who works in a nursery and has a way with children, was the one with the three younger ones upstairs, I realised. It made sense. Broken wrist or not, she was upstairs calming their nerves as Jesse patrolled downstairs, just awaiting our arrival... all three of us, and not Jason as he was now a substitute for a certain someone. A certain someone who would never return.

"Jesse," Mum began softly, "let us talk in the kitchen. Jason, take Blair upstairs." She must have shot Jason a certain look, but I was unsure what it was.

All I knew was that Jason nodded in response and he assisted me up the stairs. And Jesse squandered away absolutely no time by marching straight into the kitchen and awaiting the dreaded news. I wonder if he already had an inkling of what Mum was about to declare to him: the news that Dad would never return home.

I didn't even make it back to my room before the tears were spilling out of my eyes again, and I was sobbing hysterically. A door behind us creaked open, but I didn't care. I didn't bother glancing over my shoulder and seeing who it was. I didn't care. It was probably Warren and he'd report back to Kendall, Carmen and Yvette about the mystery man handling me into my bedroom, though if it was Warren, he perhaps wouldn't word it just quite like that.