Life's Fear

Chapter Sixteen

I'd impressed Jason once again.

"That's pretty good," he said, nodding and turning back to the words on the wall. WE ARE HIDDEN. "It would make sense. We're drowning in what we've created and are therefore destructed. Darkness surrounds us. We've created this fear being a prisoner. And that has inevitably become life's fear."

It wasn't much of an analysis, never mind detailed in the slightest, but it was something. Something to indicate I had done something right with Jason's ambiguous phrases dotted around Bellmere. Something to prove I could be trusted with him divulging his secret to me. Just something. I don't want to be a prisoner inside my own head when it's going crazy, brimming with questions that right now I feel will never be answered, but I needed something.

"It's late," he announced, checking his phone again. "Almost three in the morning and it's not getting any warmer. We should probably leave."

"How did this all start?" I asked abruptly, though I knew I should have thought about that primarily. I knew what the answer would be, and I knew just how moronic I would feel after he'd voice it.

"I believe a certain someone was staring at me in sports one day." That smirk was back. The pouty smirk. That's what it's deemed as now. The pouty smirk. I liked it. It was unique to him. "I know it was a girl, but I can't quite remember who she was."

I almost sneered. "Thanks," I said, experiencing the moronic feeling aforementioned. "How could you tell the girl was staring at you?"

He shrugged. "It sounds stupid, but it was like I could feel eyes on me." The smirk was vanishing, and it made me wish it would linger for longer. "You told me you were just listening to what Mr Williams was praising me about as you had finished. And you know what? I didn't believe it then, and I still don't now, so you're going to have to spill."

"I believe you said it was time to leave," I replied, changing the topic tactfully.

"Well played," he said, "but I'm not giving up there. I will keep asking."

"I don't doubt you will."

Jason finally took his hands out of his pockets and turned to me. With any other guy, they might have done something, but Jason just stayed immobile. His eyes were on me, but a strand of hair was perilously close to falling over his eyes. His hands were by his side, completely relaxed. He had slender fingers, I noticed.

"What?" I asked stupidly, because of anything I could have asked, it had to be just what?

He shook his head, tearing his gaze away from me. "Nothing. Come on, I'll walk you home."

Again, with any other guy, this would be considered romantic. But was Jason's intention wholly there? Was he just saying this to be the better person or was it really out of chivalry? It was dark and God knows who could be lurking in the shadows, but he wasn't obligated to walk me home.

"Thank you for showing me the graffiti," I said to him once I'd checked the door was still unlocked. It wasn't, but luckily, I had my keys anyway. Jason had already made the joke that I could have slept over at his again if I was exceptionally tempted, but I politely declined, though a part of me strangely ached to do so. "Why me though?"

"You're my friend, Blair." I really did like it when he said my name. There was something about it that sounded better with his voice than anyone else's. But there was something with the underline notion of friend. "There's no reason to hide it from you, and we got to experience it together."

Would he ever recruit me to come with him one night? Something of ours. It wasn't all him then, and some of the burden would be lifted. It can't be easy picking the location and what to write. He had a system, of course. Would he ever trust me with something like this? I wanted to think so, but there was still a part of me that was drowning in doubt.