Are You Sirius? (A Marauders Fan Fiction)

Chapter Eleven - "Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Jigglypuff!"

11 – “Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Jigglypuff!”

“… I’m not saying we should kill all the stupid people … I’m just saying we should remove all the warning labels and let the problem fix itself.” Why did Remus always walk into the common room when his friends were having weird discussions?

                It had been a week since ‘The Hogsmead Incident’ and Tasmin had finally forgiven Sirius. Sort of. Remus had just come back from an exhilarating trip in the library, where he read about the magical properties of bee stingers for four hours, to find Tasmin and James having a heated argument in the middle of the common room. Lily, Sirius and Peter were sitting in the chairs at the fire, their heads following the argument like spectators at a tennis match.

                “But then people like Peter would DIE!” James yelled.

“That’s the whole point you nob” Tasmin screeched back before turning to Peter, “No offense, Wormtail, but the world would be better off without gobshites. You understand right?” Peter nodded in agreement.

“You know what? That baby’s going to have a lot of issues!” James shouted.

“That’s the plan!” Tasmin scoffed.

“You smell like a Troll!”

“That’s politically incorrect!”

                “This is ridiculous!” Lily exclaimed, “Do you know how this started?” She asked Remus who shook his head, “James said he was going to bed!”

“Which reminds me,” James face palmed himself in annoyance at forgetting the task at hand. “I’m going to bed ‘cause I have a Quidditch match in the morning!”

“Please talk about Quidditch at every available opportunity. I can think of nothing at all I would rather discuss, neither with you nor with anyone else. After all there is nothing quite like some Quidditch-talk to liven up my day.” Tasmin sneered.

“Why are you being such a bitch?” James groaned.

“I’m a pregnant seventeen years old! My hormones are all over the place. I don’t know how not to be a bitch.” She shrugged.

“Where do babies come from?” Peter questioned.

“Fathers who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer and mothers who want some quiet.” Tasmin replied as she picked up a jar of peanut butter and dug a spoon in it.

*

The Gryffindor team gathered in the locker room waiting for James to give his Captains Speech for the last match of the year.

“Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tonight, boys … and girls, I guess. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, we are the greatest Quidditch  team in the Hogwarts. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. We will not be beaten by Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Jigglypuff!”

“Hufflepuff.” Blake Wood corrected him.

“Them too!”

“Wait, what the HELL is a Hufflepuff?” Sirius interrupted.

“Sirius, why are you in the changing room? You refused to join the team in case your got messy.” James groaned pissed off that his amazing motivational speech was ruined by the vain idiot. And Blake for correcting him. Although seriously, what is a Hufflepuff?

                “I got bored.” Sirius shrugged.

*

“Ladies, Gentlemen and The Supreme One, Professor Dumbledore, welcome to another exciting game of Quidditch. A game so loved no-one cares that it’s a bunch of kids flying a hundred feet in the air while trying to knock each other off their brooms to their impending death!” Tasmin laughed into the microphone.

“Ms Green we do not remind student that they can die!” McGonagall screeched beside her.

“Sorry Professor. Here comes the Gryffindor team, captained by the always obnoxious James Potter – I noticed you didn’t correct me Professor – and some other people I don’t know. SIRIUS BLACK GET OFF THE PITCH, YOU’LL RUIN YOUR HAIR!”

“Focus, Green.”

“Yes professor. On the other team the future Death Eaters of our generation-”

“I’m warning you!”

“The Slytherins, not that anyone cares.”

                An hour later the score was standing at sixty-twenty to Gryffindor and Tasmin was becoming restless. “OI! Gryffindor seeker person, hurry up and catch the snitch, I’m hungry!”

“Green!”

“Sorry Professor … Tip number seven, remember kids, House Elves mustn’t be used as bludgers … again!”

                Tasmin had become so bored of the math she had begun sprouting weird tips that would defiantly be ‘useful’.

“Get on with the match, Green.” McGonagall moaned.

“Sorry Professor. F.D.E passes to another F.D.E who drops the ball which is caught by Potter who SCORES! Making the score seventy – twenty to Gryffindor and – sweet baby Merlin, Horrent has spotted the snitch!” the Gryffindor seeker had spotted the snitch at the opposite side of the pitch and was speeding towards it when the Slytherin seeker crashed into him sending both of them spinning in a different direction, by the time they had steadied themselves the snitch had disappeared again.

“YOU CHEATING BASTARDS!” Tasmin cried as everyone – including McGonagall – demanded a free to Gryffindor. James took the free and scored and the match went back to its boring manner again.

“… Tip number thirty nine, Remember, spooning leads to forking!” it had been three hours since the sighting of the snitch and they were tied at two hundred points each.

“Tip number forty, remember, save a broomstick, ride a wizard!”

“THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE!” McGonagall screeched.

“Tip number – HOLY CHOCOLATE FROGS F.D.E SEEKER PERSON HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH! HURRY THE FUCK – SORRY PROFESSOR – UP AND CATCH THAT THING HORRENT!” Tasmin cried as she jumped up and down in excitement and uncontrollable need to pee.

                Horrent was five feet away from the Slytherin seeker but it looked like he was losing him until a bludger rammed into the Slytherin seeker and sent him to the ground twenty feet under. Horrent pushed his broom forward and –

“He caught the golden snitch! Gryffindor win three hundred and fifty points to two hundred!” Tasmin screamed into the microphone before turning and hugging McGonagall.

                She ran onto the pitch and launched herself at James as he landed in floods of tears. “You won the Quidditch Cup Potter, I’m so proud of you for not failing like usual!” she was met with him blowing his nose into her robes. James quickly pushed her away when he heard Lily calling him and he scooped her into his arms and planted a long kiss on her lips.

“They grow up so fast.” Sirius sighed behind Tasmin. She turned to look up at him and grabbed his ears to pull him down to her level. She smacked her lips to his and he responded by lifting her up and letting her wrap her legs around his waist to deepen the kiss.

                “Ah, there’s nothing like a boring and slightly dirty Quidditch match to display young love.” Remus grinned to Cory.

“Yeah. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Ravenclaw to take to the broom closet.” She grinned as she walked away.