AxP - Will We Be?

Do You Have A Problem With That?

Lemony Snicket wrote: I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. Words that have layers of different meanings, resonating with a multitude of emotions, all the while only directly referencing one. 

For me, these words hit deep in the last days of school, as I avoid Alex. Usually as holidays near, students are excited to be away from school, but in each and every one of us, there is a glimmer of nostalgia. Contemplation of how much things can change in eleven months. In those days, even though we won't admit it, we are silently grateful for the memories we made.

However it is now, when it really hits me. My best friend and I are no longer on speaking terms and he's dating a girl, who is also no longer a friend. It was my choice to not see him anymore, but I miss his presence greatly. Just as Lemony said, the world is too quiet without him near me.

Regardless, I keep to my word and stay away from him. I even skip all my geography lessons and hide at the very back of the library pretending to do work, just so I won't have to sit near him. Gigi and I end our friendship, without really ending it. We just simply stop speaking and she's taken it upon herself to glare at me whenever she walks past. Occasionally she mutters 'slag' under her breath if Alex is with her. I never really care to look back to see Alex's reaction, but she continues to insult me, which implies that he hasn't really commented. It hurts a lot, but I refuse to show it. Putting on a strong front whenever either of them or their friends are around, I plough on with life and hope I don't appear as sad as I feel.

Everyone in our year knows something wrong between us because we're normally almost always around each other and we haven't spoken since the trip. The girls in our year don't bother asking me because they've had Gigi giving them her version of the story. The boys don't bother asking Alex because apparently, he's been in a mood ever since the trip.
At least that's what the guys told me.

On the last day of school, I walk in with my head held high, knowing that I won't have to try so hard to avoid him for two weeks before NCS. As I stroll in, I see Mesut who smiles and strides over to me. I smile and stop, allowing him to reach me before heading off to my locker. 

"I know what you're going to say," I blurt out before he can speak, "but don't bother, I can't deny what's right in front of my eyes."

"It's not what it looks like, I'm telling you!" He defends. Scoffing half-heartedly, I start emptying my locker into my bag. "He's been in such a mood since that day and you two are best friends, can't you just hear him out," he pleads.

"Okay, one: He's made it clear he's fine without me. Two: He's probably in a mood because Gigi likes to have her boyfriends on lockies. Lastly: Why are you saying all of this, if he really cared he'd be here himself," I reply. He doesn't look at all angry at my outburst but instead looks like he agrees with me. Can't argue with facts.

"I get it, but Gigi and Alex aren't together. They haven't been since yesterday," he tells me. I roll my eyes at that. 

"Like everybody didn't see that coming," I shrug. 

"Look I'm not trying to tell you what to do but I just think you should hear him out," Mesut smiles kindly. Assuring him I'll think about it, he nods and waves before walking off, probably to go find his friends.

I shut my locker as the bell for first period rings and head to my lesson, thinking about what Mesut said. I have geography last so I decide I'll actually turn up to see what will happen.

During my first two lessons there's a lot of whisper about Gigi and Alex and it's really hard for me to not get involved. Even though it's the last day and everyone's just lazing around, I still complete every task set by the teacher just to occupy myself so none will attempt to speak to me.