AxP - Will We Be?

Anything For You

Empty. I just felt so empty. And stupid. What did I expect? That he was going to change for me? How naïve could I be? This isn't some fairy-tale where everything turns out perfect and he suddenly changes for me. I kept thinking and thinking, crying and crying until I eventually drifted off into a deep sleep.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Jesy banging on by bedroom door.
"What?!" I moaned. She barged in and looked up and down the room. She looked at my dress, heels, and bag from last night. Then at my empty suitcase on the floor, then at the pile of dirty makeup wipes on my desk and finally at me as I lay in bed with no intention of moving.
"We're going to be late!" Jesy said.
"I don't want to go anymore," I croaked and rolled over, pulling up the covers.
"Perrie, we have been talking about NCS for months. You're not missing any of it. Not for that conclusion-jumping rat," Jesy sighed sitting on my bed.
"Claud told you?" I whispered sitting up.
"Yeah," she nodded, "babe, we love you, and we will be with you the full week. And I promise by the time the week is up, that jealous little imp is going to wish he never hurt you."
"I don't really want to see him," I whispered rubbing my face as tears started to fill into my eyes.
Jesy sighed and pulled me into a hug, "then you don't have to."

When she pulled away, she quickly stood up. "Now go get ready whilst I pack your case. We don't have long." I did as she said and got ready. After quickly having a shower to prevent myself from looking like I was dying, I dried my hair and then went back into my bedroom to decide what to wear.
"That," Jesy said pointing at the clothes on my bed as she picked up some trainers and put them in my suitcase. I shrugged and put them on. She had chosen my khaki-green pants with its matching jacket, with a white under top and some white trainers. I combed my hair and braided it into two plaits.

After finishing my skin care routine, I put my washbag in my suitcase and zipped it up.
"We have time for some make-up too," Jesy said. I shook my head in protest, but she rolled her eyes and proceeded to put some on my face.
"Only a little bit, Perrie relax," she assured me. By the time we left I had a little bit of foundation and some mascara. I didn't really feel hungry, so I left without eating anything.

The whole car ride to the meeting spot I felt more and more anxious about seeing Alex.
"Perrie!" Jesy gasped as she noticed me breathing quicker and fidgeting with my hair. "Relax, okay we're going to have fun. If he comes somewhere close, I'll squeeze your hand and then we can just go somewhere else." I nodded taking some deep breaths.

We pulled up at a community centre where we were getting a coach to take us to Leeds University, which was the next place we were staying at for 5 days. Jesy and I took our suitcases out of the car boot, waved bye to my mother and went into the room. After we ticked off our names on the register lists in the hallway, we went into the main hall. Jesy held my hand as we walked in. I had my head down slightly in fear of what would happen if I saw him.

"He's not here yet Pez, don't worry."
I breathed a sigh of relief and then walked over to where Jade and Leigh were sat. They both stood up immediately and hugged me.
"Guys, don't I'll probably start crying," I said hugging them back.
"We've got a lot to talk about," Leigh said looking at us all. We all nodded sadly. Jade and Leigh sat back down on their chairs as Jesy and I sat on our suitcases, with our backs to everyone. We scrolled through our social media, waiting for it to be time to go.

Just as the leaders started the announcements and told us it was time to go, Jesy grabbed my hand and squeezed it. My heart started to race, and I started to panic.
"The rest of the boys are coming too," Jade said catching on to the hand squeeze.
"Erm... I'm going to go speak to Lucy and Lydia," I blurted out and then hurried away, pulling my suitcase along with me. I didn't actually go to them I just headed for the coach, put my suitcase in the bottom and then went and sat at the top, right at the front. I was breathing very heavily so I tried to calm down. I closed my eyes, pulled my hood up and put my feet up on the seat, hugging my legs. I knew I'd see him eventually, but I wasn't ready for that yet. I kept my eyes closed as I heard people come up and sit down.