Remembering my past....

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Age 8:

"Hi Mum." I smiled coming into the kitchen. "Hello baby! There is someone I want you to meet." Mum announced. I signed and rolled my eyes, this was never good. Mum went through many different boyfriends all totally useless and normally broke up with her after a week. "Don't look like that. Cameron is different from the others, he really cares about me." "Sure, sure." I laughed. "So when do I meet him?" "This afternoon. He's taking to lunch." Mum smiled looking all gooey eyed. 

"Hi Lottie, I'm Cameron!" Cameron said. "Hi camera-on.' I replied. "It's Cam-Ron!" Cameron corrected his face hardening quite suddenly. "Ok Com-Ron." "It's Cam-Ron!" Cameron shouted banging his fist against the table as I flinched backwards. "It's ok honey she'll learn." Mum smiled stroking Cameron's arm and kissing him. "Your right. Sorry Lottie, I didn't get much sleep last night so I'm a little cranky. What do you want for lunch?" 

1 month later

"Hello Le-tee." Cameron snarled coming into the house. He'd taken to calling me this since our first meeting when I'd pronounced his name wrong. "Hi Cameron." I said looking at the floor. "Look me in the face please." Cameron said. "No." I whispered tears dripping down my face. "Look at my FACE!" He shouted. "Please no, Cameron." I wept touching the scar on my face from last time. "How dare you, you little brat!" He screeched slapping me so hard I fell to the floor. "Cameron your here!" Mum beamed coming in. "Mummy." I screamed getting  up of the floor and running to her. "What?" Mum snapped which was very unlike her. "Cameron hit me! Break up with him! Break up with him!" I cried. "Look honey." Mum said her voice softening as she crouched down to my level. "One day you'll understand. You'll like...maybe even love a boy and you'll put him above everything else and then it will make sense and you'll forgive me."


Present time: 

And then I realised. I'd done exactly what my mum had. I'd put Joe before everyone else. I'd broken the heart of a good friend Casper, I'd put Zoe and Alfie through hell and lost an amazing realationship we'd started to build and all for a boy just like mum said I would. I was turning into my mother and there was nothing I could do to stop it except...break up with him. 



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