Adopted by Zalfie

Back to normal....for two seconds

I darted between crazed tourists in an attempt to score a seat on the bus and just about managed to push in front of a group of American tourists all talking about how cute England was. I sat down to see a notification about Alfie but this time not a YouTube video but an actual text and I had a moment of 'how is this really my life?!' as I remembered having the same routine of trying desperately to get a seat on the bus home from school back in London except then I was on my way home to a bunch in annoying kids and Helena who as sweet as she tried to be wasn't what I'd call a mother figure and now I had an actual family. School was ok. The teachers were nice and although I hadn't made any friends I hadn't really expected to as I was hardly miss popularity in my old school although now it was extra difficult having the surname Sugg-Deyes and although I tried to keep out of my parents videos as much as possible that wasn't exactly easy having a father who daily vlogged and a few people recognised me from videos. No one teased me about it as I thought they would although one girl asked for a selfie which was extremely weird. Finally the bus pulled up at my house and I leapt off and ran in doors. "So how was your first day?" Joe asked before I could even get in the door properly. "Fine, honey. How was your day?" I replied kissing him. "Good, I pulled this great prank on Casper it was hilarious! He's still a bit annoyed but never mind that's part of the fun. It's a really long video actually should probably start editing. Do you mind a quite night in tonight with a takeaway?" "No that sounds great. I actually have some homework. How long are you in Brighton for?" "Uhh it's so weird that you have homework. I feel so old! I'm going back to London at 6am actually for a meeting. Shoot! I have a Skype call with Casper in....five minutes ago about the prank video. We're considering making it into another prank war!" 

As I was doing my homework I listened to Joe speaking to Casper. It was so weird how he spoke to him and I realised how different he was with me than everyone else. He never made jokes about burping in front of me which I was glad of but I also felt a little odd. In my conversation with Zoe she talked about how I'd 'changed Joe for the better' and 'made him more sensitive' but I hadn't done that on purpose and it unsettled me that I didn't seem to know Joe very well at all. "Anyway gotta go, spending the the evening with Lottie!" I heard Joe say. "So how's that going? I know I'm  a little biased as the ex boyfriend but I don't really see you two as a couple your so...different!" Casper said. "Well it's going well. I really do like her but...I feel like I can't be myself around her you know? I do big romantic gestures like the fireworks spelling out 'Lottie I love you' because I know that's what she likes but I just feel like that's not me. If it were any other guy doing that for his girlfriend I would be teasing him so much!" Joe laughed. I couldn't listen to this anymore so with tears in my eyes I burst into the living room where Joe was and shouted "if you don't want to do stuff like that then don't! No one is asking you to! Why are you even with me if you can't be yourself around me? Is it just annoy Zoe or something?" "Casper I'll call you back." Joe said hanging up. "How dare you think I would do that! I'm with you because I love you Lottie but I don't think you would love the real me so that's why I'm not myself, to stay with you!" "That's stupid! I hate you Joe!" I shouted throwing  a pillow at him. "Fine. We're done." Joe announced and with that he stormed out. I felt like I should be sad maybe even  cry but I didn't feel like either of those things. I felt relief. Maybe I didn't love Joe after all. The problem was with dating Youtubers was that you formed crushes over their videos not over the real them. Love was so confusing. I thought I felt it for Casper and I didn't and I thought I felt it for Joe but maybe I didn't. Well that was my 'normal' life back to crazy.