"Little do you know" - Hotchniss

heart messed up

Five months had passed. To Hotch, it felt like days went by in seconds, for Emily on the opposite, it felt like every day was ages long. She had been put on office duty two months ago, directly after telling the team that she was pregnant. To her surprise, they had all taken it really well; JJ and Garcia had freaked out, they were both more than excited and had both asked to become godmother. Rossi had just congratulated her, telling her that she would be a great mother and Reid and Morgan reacted really, really happy as well. Since this burden had now been lifted off her shoulders, Emily felt a lot better. There was only one thing she was still looking for: the father of her child.

It was a friday evening and Hotch was just rushing through the supermarket, trying to get home as quick as possible since Emily and Jack were home alone.

"Aaron?", he suddenly heard a familiar voice behind him. Turning around, his eyes discovered Beth standing next to a shelf.

"Beth?", he smiled, as she walked towards him and hugged him. Hugging her back, he said: "I haven't heard from you in a while!"

Hotch and Beth had lost touch since Emily had found out that she was pregnant.

"Work kept me busy", she sighed. "How's your friend? Her name was Emily, right?"

It surprised him that she still remembered her name, he had totally forgotten that he had told her that Emily was expecting a child. Somehow, he liked that Beth asked about his best friend. This showed that she was actually fine with him having a female best friend, if she was still interested in him.

"Oh, she's good", he smiled. "Fifth month, currently."

"That's nice", Beth nodded politely. "I'm in kind of a rush, but how about if I'll call you some time this week?"

"I'd love that", he replied, glad that she was in a rush as well. He would have felt bad if it was him ending this conversation.

"Good", she smiled. "Well then, see you, Aaron!"

"See you", he looked after her as she walked away. She was definitely as nice woman and he had already liked her before, yet his feelings for Emily were way too strong. But maybe he should try to push his feelings for her aside and give Beth a chance? Emily was his best friend and he was sure that she would never feel the same way as he did.

At the Hotchner's house, Emily had just brought Jack to bed after he had fallen asleep while they were watching a movie. "Good night, buddy", she whispered and kissed his forehead softly before leaving his room as silently as possible. She smiled to herself, thinking about how it would be to bring her own child to bed.

She sat down at the kitchen island, waiting for Hotch to return. She was really impatient since she had found out the sex of her baby today and could not wait to tell him that she was expecting a little girl. As her impatience grew, she started to pillage the fridge, eating as much as possible while resting one hand on her baby belly.

"It's all going to be okay", she whispered. "I know I am a real mess, but I'll try my best. And if I fail, I promise you that Hotch will always be there for you. Don't worry, he is used to taking care of other's. He's taking care of me 24/7. I'm sure you'll love him. I do, too..."

Emily let out a small sigh. Even though her pregnancy kept her busy, she could not deny her feelings for her best friend. She was still arguing with herself, if she should tell him or not.

"I'm back!", she looked up as his voice entered her ears.

"Hey", she smiled excitedly. "I just brought Jack to bed."

"Thanks", he smiled as well. "How are you two?"

"We're doing well", she nodded, throwing the empty boxes and packets away.

"I bought you some things", he grinned proudly, lifting two heavy bags, filled with all kind of food.

"You make me feel fat", she smirked, looking through it.

"You're not fat!", he immediately exclaimed.

"I'm not?", she laughed. "Look at me. I'm looking like a whale?"

"You're pregnant. Plus, you look amazing, so stop saying stuff like this", he smiled.

Emily looked down, hiding the way she blushed. Then, she remembered that she still wanted to tell him about her baby girl, so she turned back to him and opened her mouth, but he was the first one to speak.

"I have to tell you something!", he announced, excited as well.

"Oh, I have news too", his best friend smiled. "You first!"

"Guess who I met today!"

"Who?"

"Beth!", he smiled and it hit her like a truck. She hadn't heard this name in a long time. Actually, she had thought that the 'Beth-phase' was over, but obviously she had been wrong.

"Beth?", she repeated in a choked voice.

"Yes!", he nodded. "It was really nice to see her again. We only talked a bit since we were both in a rush, but she is going to call me soon."

"So you're gonna see her again?", Emily asked, internally face palming herself for blurting out this question.

"I think so", Hotch smiled. "I had already liked her a bit before, but we kinda lost each other because we were both really busy. Maybe we should try harder this time."

Emily just nodded, looking down. She had not expected this. She didn't even know why it caused her such a sharp pain in the chest as he spoke.

"Cool", she whispered. "Look, I'm really tired. I'm gonna go to bed now."

"Didn't you want to tell me something as well?", he asked, looking her right in the eyes, but she looked away.

"It's nothing important", she quickly said and rushed past him, heading to 'her' bedroom.

Hotch looked after her in confusion. Did he say something wrong? She had seemed so happy as he had gotten home, but now she looked like it had been raining for the last 10 years. He sat down at the kitchen island as he suddenly felt something twirling around his legs. He looked down, finding Sergio to his feet, who was waiting for some food. Yes, this crazy cat had moved in as well. Hotch had never liked cats, but Sergio was actually quite easy to handle, apart from the times where he would run through the house like blazes. He decided to give Emily her space and walked over to the cupboard to get Sergio's food.

Emily found herself laying in Hotch's bed, tears silently running down her cheeks. She hid her face in the pillow as a sob left her mouth, so nobody would hear it. She hadn't even realized how strong her feelings for him had gotten through the time, but now she experienced how much it hurt on every inch of her body. This feeling of jealousy had hit her so suddenly and unexpected, mixed with the fear of loosing him to this woman. The tears kept running, until she fell asleep at some point, not able to take her own feelings anymore.