"Little do you know" - Hotchniss

you deserve happiness

Emily had decided to stay at Hotch's place. He was more than glad that she did, and things had gotten a bit better since. They talked more again, still it was Emily who always left as soon as Beth was showing up.

Hotch arrived home around afternoon, earlier than he had intended to. He had been able to leave work earlier this day and had stopped at Beth's place so they could spend some time together. They were having a rough phase with both of them being very busy and her growing more and more jealous as the only thing he ever talked about was Emily. He had really thought that things would get better again, but even today their conversation had turned into a huge fight. It had gone this far that they had decided to take break, but Hotch knew that they both knew that it was already over.

The house was entirely silent. Jack was with Haley and Emily had left a note on the mirror.

'I'm out with Josh! See you later, x Em'

He sighed and pinned it to the mirror again. She and Josh spent a lot of time together, but who could blame them? They were expecting a daughter and going back some weeks ago, they didn't even know each other's name.

It was his fault that things had been changing so much the past few months. He himself had changed, trying to get over Emily by spending a lot of time with Beth. Their friendship had changed with that.

He had just gotten into the kitchen as he discovered a car parking in front of his house. He watched through the window as Emily and Josh climbed out, obviously saying good-bye to each other. Automatically, his eyebrows furrowed as he saw how Josh carefully hugged his best friend, and he even felt like throwing up as she leaned in and kissed him. Suddenly, Hotch's head was spinning. This couldn't be true. What was this supposed to mean? Were Emily and Josh actually a thing now?

His eyes filled with tears, which was new to him. He barely ever cried. Emily walked towards their house, a little smile on her lips. Quickly, Hotch moved away as she got closer and he then heard her unlocking the door.

"Hello?", she yelled.

"Hey", he answered. "I'm in the kitchen!"

It took her some seconds to get there, since she was nearly eight months pregnant by then. Hotch raised his head to look at her as she entered the kitchen. She was still smiling.

"How was your day with Josh?", he asked, trying to forget what he had just seen.

"It was nice", she replied and her smile grew even wider. "He's a really good man, you know."

Hotch just nodded and turned away. He hated Josh. Not because he was not good enough for Emily, no, it was the opposite; he was perfect for Emily.

"You okay?", she asked.

"Yea, I-", he hesitated. "I saw you two from the window. I just wanted to tell you that I'm really happy for you. You deserve to be lucky."

A smile formed on Emily's lips. "Thank you, Aaron", she whispered, using name for the first time in quite a while. Actually, she had expected him to be at least a bit jealous, but he seemed totally fine with it, which only strengthened her guess that he had only feelings for Beth. Once again, it hurt. But maybe Josh would help her to forget about it.

"Oh", Emily then said in surprise, placing both hands on her belly.

"What's wrong?", Hotch immediately asked, worried.

"Nothing", she smiled and took his hands, placing them on her stomach. "Can you feel this? She's kicking for the first time!"

Hotch was amazed by the little kicks he could feel. He had experienced it with Jack before, but this was still special to him.

"Wow, she's definitely going to be a football player", he laughed, still feeling the baby's kicks.

Emily chuckled as well, and they continued just standing there, her hands covering his, still softly pressing them on her belly. Both of them were filled with happiness, and in this one moment, they forgot about all the problems around them, every single one of them. In this moment it was just them and Emily's baby. Time was standing still.

It was this one second, where both of them looked up, smiling. They frowned as their eyes met and they stared into each other's eyes. Suddenly, they were brought back into reality again. They were crossing the line, again. Hotch had a girlfriend, and Emily was with Josh. They knew that it wasn't right, yet they still stood there. It was Emily who then twitched, rapidly letting go of his hands. Hotch cleared his throat and took his hands off her stomach, and the room filled with awkwardness.

"I'm - I'm gonna go, call my mother", she then shuttered and quickly walked off to her room. Of course she would not call her mother. She just ran away from her feelings, again. She loved him way too much to not care, to deny those moments, to keep away from him. But she had to get over him. Emily knew that she had to.

Hotch's eyes were still fixed on the corridor, where she had just rushed through, even though she was already in her room. He swallowed thickly and turned away. He told himself to stop all this, to stop his feelings for her, to stop moments like this. She was with Josh, she deserved happiness more than anyone on this planet and if he made her happy, then it was the best thing for her.

He startled up as his phone rang. Haley.

"Hello?", he said as he picked up.

"Hello Dad, this is Jack", his son proudly announced at the other end of the line.

"Hey buddy, how are you?", Hotch immediately smiled. He missed his 6-years-old son every single time he was not at home and this call made him feel much better right now.

"I'm good", Jack answered. "I just miss you, Dad."

"I miss you, too", Hotch whispered. "Hey, I'm gonna pick you up tomorrow morning and we are going to the park, okay?"

"Yes!", the boy cheered. "Is Emily going to come with us?"

Hotch let out a small sigh. Usually, she would have. She had always gone to the park or to the cinema with them, but everything was different now. "No, I don't think so", he sighed.

"Oh", Jack said, his voice filled with disappointment.

"She gets tired very quickly at the moment", Hotch explained. "A pregnancy is very exhausting sometimes."

"I recognized that", his son answered. "She mixes many things up."

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday as I came home from school and asked where you were, she said you were with Bitch, and then I told her that I think her name is Beth and she turned very red in her face.", Jack explained. "Her name is Beth, right? Or did I get it wrong? I mean Bitch and Beth is very similar, maybe I got it wrong, too."

And all Hotch did in this moment was thanking God that Jack did not understand the meaning of the word 'Bitch' yet.