"Little do you know" - Hotchniss

losing my mind

"Emily?", Hotch yelled as he had entered her apartment, using her keys. He didn't receive a proper answer, but he could hear her sniffling in the bathroom.

On his way to her apartment he had tried to think about some possible scenarios that could have had happened, but he just hadn't been able to think about something that would put her into this condition. There hadn't been any partners that could have hurt her the past few weeks, no, she had decided to calm down a bit after her last one-night-stand. Did something happen to Sergio? Or her family?

He was more than worried, all he wanted was her to be okay. That was all that mattered to him.

"Hey", he said in a soft voice as he discovered her sitting on the bathroom floor. Her eyes were red and swollen, tears basically flooded her face. He knelt down beside her, resting one hand on her knee. "What hap-"

That was when he saw the two pregnancy tests next to her. Both of them were showing two red lines, positive. Immediately, he pulled her into a hug and she cried against his chest.

"It's okay", he whispered. "It's all going to be okay."

"No, it's not", she sobbed.

Hotch just couldn't take his eyes off the two tests. His best friend was pregnant. Emily Prentiss was expecting a baby. In this moment, he didn't even feel anything, no, he just felt sorry for her. She was for sure going to be a great mother, yet he could understand how hard it was for her, especially since the father was someone she did not know. Pregnancies had always been a hard topic for her, due to her pregnancy as a teenager.

"This can't be happening", she cried, his shirt already wet from all her tears. "How can I explain this to everyone? How will I be able to explain it to this child?"

He knew that an abortion was not an option for her. Especially not after her abortion at the age of 15 in Italy.

"We're going to get through this", he softly said. "I'm going to be by your side all the time. Don't worry about the others, Em. The only ones that matter are you and your baby, okay?"

"But I cannot just have a child", she whispered. "I'm a 30-years-old woman who is barely at home due to her job. I know you have Jack as well, but you have Haley who can take care of him when you're not there, but I don't have-", her voice cracked and she started to sob heavily again. "I'm going to be such a bad mother, I'll have way too less time for my child, I don't know anything about parenthood at all and on top of that, my baby has to grow up without a father, which is the worst thing you can put an innocent child through!"

He pulled away from her, resting his hands on her arms. She was obviously panicking. "Emily, look at me.", he said. "You are going to be the best mother on this planet. I've seen the way you treat Jack. He loves you. And your child is going to love you as well because you are going to shower it with so much love that it doesn't even need a father. Don't you even dare to think you are going to be a bad Mum, because I know you're not."

She looked up into his eyes. She was so moved by his words that she was not even able to say a word. This was all just too much for her. It had been a crazy, random idea to take the tests after she had realized that she was late. And as she had seen the two red lines on both of them, she had lost her mind. The only guy she had slept with in a long time was the one she could not even remember. She had been way to drunk to even remember if they had had used protection; maybe that was why she hadn't thought about this before.

Emily was a woman married to her job. It was already hard for her to manage relationships, how should she be able to raise a child? What would her colleagues think of her? And - oh hell - her mother? Would they call her an irresponsible slut? Or at least think of her like that?

"I have to find this man and tell him", she then whispered looking down.

"Yes", Hotch nodded. "But the first thing we are going to do is to make you feel better."

He got up and helped her up as well, wrapping his arms around her once more. "Congratulations, Em", he whispered. "This baby is damn lucky."

A small smile formed on her lips as she buried her face in his shoulder. She was more than thankful for having him as her best friend, for his supports. It was insane how much his words affected her. She still remembered how she had found out that was pregnant at the age of 15. Nobody had been there for her at first. She had stood alone in her bathroom, unable to move any muscle of her body. And now she was in the same situation again, just with the difference that Hotch was there. She did not feel alone.

"Thank you", Emily said silently. She wanted to say a lot more, showing him how much he meant to her and she would not get through this without him, but she couldn't, the shock was still hitting her over and over again. She just didn't get used to the fact that she was going to be a mother, bringing an innocent human-being into this world without having plans or experiences.

Hotch knew what she was thinking. Emily had not planned to get children in the next time, especially not like this, and he knew that this had hit her like a truck. She always put way too much pressure on herself and it was for sure that she would need him now more than ever. And he would be there all the time. He loved her, letting her down would be the last thing he would ever do. His best friend now needed someone to remind her that everything was going to be okay, supporting her in every situation. And it was not even a question for him to do so.

"Let's go get you something to drink and to eat", he said and wrapped one arm around her shoulder in order to drag her to the kitchen. "You've probably lost a lot of water and the two of you need to stay hydrated."

He expected her to protest, but instead he just felt how a weak arm slipped around his body and how she rested his head on his arm as they moved to the kitchen.

"It's all going to be okay", he whispered once more, placing a soft kiss on her hair, knowing that she may not believe it now, but working on that she might do so in the future.