"Little do you know" - Hotchniss

different paths

Emily bit her lip as she walked into the living room, where Hotch was watching TV. She had something she needed to tell him, yet she didn't know how to do it and how he would take it.

She was eight months pregnant by now and her life was good, actually. She was not allowed to go to work anymore - which was driving her insane - and spent most of the time with Josh. He was giving his best to please her, he bought a lot of stuff for their daughter, wanted to know everything about her and treated her like a princess. Yet, they had not said the three words, and Emily was really glad about it. She knew that she wouldn't be able to say them back, and she kept asking herself why. But little did she know the truth; she couldn't say them back because they were not true. 

Her feelings for Hotch were still there, even though she told herself that they were gone and that she now had feelings for Josh. It was the worst and she had never been in a situation like this before. 

"Hey", she smiled as she sat down in front of Hotch on the couch.

"Hey", he replied, but the little bit in confusion in his voice already showed her that he knew something was up.

"There is something I have to tell you", Emily said, avoiding to look him into the eyes.

Hotch immediately started to feel queasy. What did she mean? It wasn't something good; he could see that in her eyes. It bothered her, and she didn't really want to tell him, otherwise she would look him into the eyes. 

"Is everything okay?", he asked, a bit worried about her.

"Yes, yes, I -", she stopped again and looked at her hands. "Josh and I we - we are planning to move into my apartment."

Hotch was not able to think clearly. She would leave. With Josh. Her apartment was of course not far away, but ever since they both had different relationships, living together was what kept their friendship alive. 

"Together?", he whispered with a choked voice.

Emily just nodded, still not looking at him. "We have already done the room for the baby, but now we have to get our own stuff over there."

"Okay", he whispered and swallowed thickly. Pain shot through his body, like he had never felt i before, like he was standing in a rain of bullets. He wasn't even able to form proper sentences, or to think clearly. Only one thought was on his mind: Emily would move out.

"I'm sorry, Hotch", she whispered. "But he is my boyfriend now and we are expecting a child, I cannot live here forever. I hope you understand this.."

He forced himself to smile: "It's okay, Em. Really."

She knew that his smile was fake, yet she nodded silently. Emily was unable to move or to speak any further. Only now that she had told him she had realized how much she wanted to stay. But it was too late for this.

"I'm just really gonna miss you."

"I will miss you too, Aaron", she whispered. "I will."

Before they knew what they were doing, they found themselves in each other's arms. Hotch had wrapped his arms around her carefully, whereas Emily was clinging to his torso, never wanting to let go again. 

"You know that you're still my best friend, right?", she whispered against his chest. "Even though so many weird things are happening at the moment and we both changed a lot; never forget this please."

"I won't", he replied. "As long as you won't ever forget that you're my best friend as well. And that you are going to be great Mum, since I won't be around all the time to tell you in the future."

At first, only one light tear ran down her cheek, but then it was followed by many more. Even though she was not going to move out immediately, she already missed him. He would still be in her life, he was her best friend, but living with him made them being around each other way more often. 

Hotch held his tears back. If he would cry now, there wouldn't be any excuse apart from the truth which he could not tell her. As he felt her wet tears against his chest, he placed a soft kiss on her hair. 

Why was this happening to them? Why was it that complicated? Why had fate made them best friends? 

"I'll call you every day", she whispered.

"Em, your apartment is not far away from here, we will see each other around", he replied. "And one day you'll come back to work, and then we'll be around each as well."

"I know", she nodded. "but I'll call you anyways, okay?"

"Okay", he smiled, but it was a smile filled with sadness. Why did this feel like a goodbye? Why did it feel like she was leaving the country?

-

It was about one month later when Hotch received a call from Emily. Ever since she had moved out, both of their lifes and feelings had gotten worse, yet their stubbornness made them pretend that they were the happiest ever. On parents-teacher-conference, Hotch had met a women named Scarlett, who was a single parent as well. They had been on a few dates and Hotch thought that she may be the women who would help him get over Emily. Even Jack liked her. 

Emily was now living with Josh. They had the 'perfect life', yet she felt that it was not right, somehow. It wasn't the truth, it was superficial. Josh and her had never had a fight; which may sound nice at first but also showed that none of them ever spoke up or said their real opinion. Their relationship was superficial. But Emily learned to live with that and was still hoping that this might change one day - especially when their daughter would be born. 

"Emily?", he picked up, his voice sleepy. As he recognized how Scarlett mumbled in her sleep, he decided to go somewhere else so she could continue to sleep.

"Aaron?", she exclaimed. Her voice was filled with emotions he could not define. Was she happy? Sad? Excited? Scared?

"What's up?", he asked.

"I - I don't know, I-", she shuttered and he now knew that she was panicking. "He - he just asked and I didn't even know what to say and - and I was so surprised and we are expecting a child and - and he definitely has his reasons, right? I - I-"

"Emily!", he interrupted her. "What happened?"

She took a deep breath. "Josh asked me to marry him."

These words took Hotch by surprise as well. He was shocked, he couldn't believe that they were already this far in their relationship.

"Say something, please", Emily begged at the other end of the line.

"Did you accept it?", he asked in a choked voice.

"I - Oh my God.", she whispered in shock.

"Emily?"

"I - I think my water just broke."