Double Life

Chapter 9

Tom just stared at the empty passageway.

Now he was angry at himself. He pounded his fist against the wall that separates the kitchen from the living room. The sound reverberate through the house. It jolted Jill back to reality in their bedroom. He entered the bedroom to continue the conversation. Jill looked shocked to see him. She did say that she needed to be alone.

Tom continued, "I am so angry!"

"You are angry?" Jill blurted out at the top of her voice, "And how do you expect me to feel? You are the one that went outside of our marriage."

"Yes! Angry. Angry at myself. There has been a pressure weighing on me for years and it's time to come clean."

"I still think you are taking this thing very nonchalantly. You have singlehandedly destroyed this marriage and this family by what you have done. Carrying on for ten years in secret." Jill wailed then went silent and just stared into space.

Tom could not believe what he heard. He had decided through the sleepless night that he was going to come clean with Jill no matter the hurt, then work at mending whatever needed to be mended no matter the cost. He couldn't figure out how she knew what he was doing and for how long he was doing it.

Tom just pressed on. He went to the window staring outside. He couldn't bear to look at her as he confessed.

"It started with a few of my friends we would get together for a friendly card game, we started by playing for small amounts of money, before long we were playing for big bucks. I became addicted to gambling. It took over my life. At home I was the sweet husband and dad, once I went out the front door I became a different person. The thought of winning big blinded me to the fact that I was losing bigger. I lost a big portion of our savings, then I started to take money from the credit cards. I was hoping for a big win then call it quits.

A year turned into five years and more, chasing that elusive big win, then I started taking money from the children's education funds. That's the time I finally recognized that I have a problem with gambling.

I sought professional help to combat the addiction. I broke ties with the guys. I took on extra hours at work plus another part time job to try to replace the money I lost. I cried many times when I was away from my family working late, especially when I knew I didn't have to. I am able to take care of my financial obligations with my current job, but my actions caused me to deprived the family of the emotional support they needed.
Before I had a family I was just living, but my life took on new meaning it, has purpose. I could not stand the thought of losing you and the children. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

He turned to look at Jill. Nothing seemed to register with her. Tom thought, 'I just spent what seems like eternity confessing to my wife about the problem I have with gambling and how I singlehandedly almost destroy the family, and she did not hear a word I said. But one thing is certain, I know that this was going to come back to haunt me one day.'

As Tom opened his mouth again about the whole mess and the principle role that he played in it the phone rang.

"Mr Thomas?"
"Yes this is Mr Thomas. "
"This is Doctor Weston at the St. Luke's hospital."
Tom smiled. "To what do I owe this pleasure Doctor?"
"It's your mother!"
"My mother? What's happened? I spoke with her yesterday and she was fine."
"That's what is troubling, she woke up this morning not feeling well but well enough to drive herself to the hospital. However as the day progressed her health has deteriorated rapidly. We ran a number of test on her but have not been successful in determining the cause of her sudden down turn. She is asking for you, can you be here quickly and safely?"
"It will take an hour to get there but we can make it."

Tom's continence fell.

"What's wrong?" Jill asked.
"It's my mother. She is in the hospital."
"What happened between yesterday and today?" Jill asked.
"I don't know but we will soon find out."
"We?"
"Yes WE. I am not leaving you behind." Tom said.
"This discussion is far from over but for now your mother takes priority."