I'll Wear Orange - (finished)

I'll Wear Orange- D, we have a problem. Momentary collapse of . . . me.

Help find a cure for Luekamia, you don't know who you could save!

This chapter goes out too Owen, and the "CHILDREN with LUEKAEMIA" charity.

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Chapter eight - D, we have a problem. Momentary collapse of . . . me.

Thursday morning.

Owen did come and get me. I don't even know what the time was when I called him, but he still came. I got in the car, started out the window. Owen knew the way to my house, so he didn't need directions. He didn't say anything, so it was pretty much silence. That being up until he pulled over.

'So, your tests, when d'you get the results?' he turned in his seat to look at me. He look so pale, his longish brown hair was a lot thinner too. I gulped and sucked back my tears.

'Doctors called me this afternoon,' I said.

'And . . .'

'And . . . it isn't something they like to discuss over the phone. She wants me to have more tests too.'

'Shit,' he breathed, 'you alright?' I ignored him.

'Now you know about my tests, spill about yours and you pissing off for a month.'

He rolled his eyes, sighed and looked at me, 'I found out, about three months ago, I didn't want to say anything, 'cause we were happy, right?'

'So what changed? What made you up and leave me four weeks ago?'

'It's got worse, and chemo is starting soon. I didn't want you seeing me like that. I always told you, I'd be there for you, fight for you, and help you. How can I do that if I'm so sick its hard work getting out of bed?'

'Well, yeah fine, whatever. So, why you talking to me now, Owen?' I said.

'If you've got it, you're going to need all the support you can get. And I know what we had to do with Molly, member I helped look after her after our bitch of a mother fucked off.' He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. Self control. 'So, I - as will my bro's and dad - we gonna look after ya. And there ain't no debating it.'

'I guess,' we talked a little on the way home, mainly him asking me how the horses were and me asking him if he was still playing. Owen had a talent for music. He used to ask me what songs I liked and then he would learn to play it on the piano, and then play it to me. God, it would make me weak at the knees. He'd also learn this on guitar too.

Jay got annoyed with me last night, then . . . THEN! He blackmailed me. *growls* there was a storm. There was thunder, lightning, and stupidly heavy rain. The works. I wanted to go and sit on my sofa on the patio under the canopy and watch it. Jay wouldn't let me. 'Cause Im sick. *growls again* I even told him I would dress as an Eskimo. Ugg boots, jogging bottoms, a t-shit, a hoodie and my fur blanket! He still wasn't happy. Then came the blackmailing. I went outside, he went out side. Only he would stand in the rain, topless, and he was worried about me being sick! Idiotic brother < said with affection.

Now that, that's out of the way, on to this morning. I thought I was alright, you know, with the "maybe you do. Maybe you don't" have leukaemia. Then I called the doctors, and made myself an appointment. Needless to say I have never been more terrified of walking through a door in my life. I would have gladly taken an out of control, thoroughbred stallion over facing Dr Davies.

Her room was one of those over clinically ones that someone has tried to make seem friendly. There were pictures pinned on the wall by her kids and her patients. There were stuffed toys along the window sill, but Im losing focus. Anyway, she sat me down and gave me /that/ look. You know the one, puppy dog eyes unshed rehearsed tears. Yeah, that look. I didn't feel too bad, bit apprehensive but not too bad. Until she started talking.

'I am a bit concerned about the results on your ESR blood test came back very high, as did the protein.' I just stat there nodding numbly. One thing I will tell you, don't ever, EVER Google what the doctors tell you. I Googled the ESR test yesterday, when she called and told me for the first time, it was very high. So I went to Google, and put in; very high ESR blood result. It says that a very high ESR can be the cause of macroglobulinemia primary which is cancer of the B lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell. Which, is a little like leukaemia.

'I think we should send you for some more blood tests, then - depending on the results - I think it will be about time to look into sending you to an oncologist.' My mouth fell open.

'Oncologist? An oncologist?' I blurted out, 'to do what? What will come after that?'

'If your results come back high again, as is your white blood cell count hasn't lowered, he will probably want to do more tests.'

'Like . . .' I urged her on.

'If he tests you for some form of blood cancer - like leukaemia - then he will send you for more blood tests, depending on their results, you may have to have a bone marrow aspiration and a biopsy of your lymph glands.' Bubbles, bubbles, and more bubbles of tear spluttered down my cheeks. That's when, straight talking, get to work, take no prisoners Dr Davies surprised me. She leant forward, took my hand and looked me in the eyes. 'I am so sorry, Ashleigh.' She said.

After that, she gave me another blood form and said I could go. So I got up and walked out, not without looking at the shocking poster on the back of the

door. A happy, smiley child holding an ice cream was on it. And in big red letters it said, "nice seeing you! Do come again!" what sane person would put that on the back of a door at the doctors? It's a bit like the doctor saying, "I hope you get sick soon" with a grin.

I went home, and got ready. Tried and failed at using makeup to cover up my red blotchy eyes. I sent a message to Lisha, I really hoped either she or Jay answered; I wanted someone to talk to. But, my phone is being stupid and not sending them . . . again! I text Jay then, he didn't answer. Stupid man still hasn't found his phone *winks* never mind.

So, I'm at school right now, trying to act normal. No one here knows about my tests apart from Mr C and he isn't saying anything to me about them. I think I'll talk to Lisha later. I could do with a chat. Then I am off to Cole's house for the night.

See ya later, D! x

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Alice.....xx