An American In London S3

Lost

(Jamie POV)

"Mmmm...Jamie..."

Amelia moans my name as she eyes me, her face inches away from mine, with her bright blue eyes pleading for more....

I take a bite of the last slice of Domino's cheese pizza before handing it to her.

"Thank you!" She laughs as she takes the last piece and I curl up with my blankets on the floor of her dorm.

"Have you talked to him yet?" She asks as she eyes me. My fingers hover over my phone.

"No, but you know we're both stubborn as fuck," I groan as I take my phone and chuck it across the room in anger.

"Jesus Christ Jamie, It was just a question. It's been a little over a week since you guys you know," She reminds me and I lay back down on my side.

"Unng, I have to go grab my notebook from the room. Do you think he'll be there?" I groan and she looks at the time. 

"Eh, If I know Mari he's probably studying or working or both. Why did you guys break up anyway? Things seemed so perfect," She sighs and looks at me with pity.

 It was Saturday and I wanted nothing more than to binge watch Netflix while eating Dominos, Wok to Walk, and Krispy Kreme while sulking in my deep depression.

"I don't want to think about it nevermind talk about it,"

 I sigh into the pillow. I had lived here in Amelia's room for the past week and a half. Trying to regain some sense of self while avoiding Marius.

 But I felt like my soul had been ripped in half and I was just a hollow shell floating through the days without having the slightest purpose other than to continue breathing. 

I had asked Fin how Marius was doing and he just shrugged and said Mari was perfectly fine and doing well. 

Why is this heartbreak so uneven?
Why am I feeling like I'm dead inside while he can tread around with his perfectly happy self?
Was it all a lie?
Was everything a dream? 

What did I do wrong?

I guess true love really is nonexistent.

"I'm going to get my book," I groan as I go to stand. Taking the pizza box with me and throwing it away. 

"What are the chances of him not being in the room?" I ask and she thinks for a moment.

"I'd say a solid 98%" she responds and I decide to take it. 

Walking five doors down the hallway, I turn my key to my dorm room and I wasn't religious, but I whispered a silent prayer to whoever the hell was listening. 

The door makes a loud snapping sound as I swing it open and casually walk in, only to have my hopes of him not being there, instantly blown away. 

He was sitting on his bed, leaning against the french doors with his legs crossed, deeply engrossed in some medical book with the title Project Kaleb, highlighting different sections. And when I walk in the floor creeks a little, causing him to jump. 

Marius looks up and sees me, only to quickly look back down. I turn away from him. Reaching on top of my shelf to grab the notebook I was searching for and go to leave. 

Looking at him one last time, I realized his hand was shaking and he had stopped highlighting. The silence filled the room and as much as I wanted to say something there was nothing to be said. I put my hand on the door. Remembering the first tie we had 'broken up'. 

But this was different. 

I gather my bearings and ignore the tugging at my heart strings telling me to run to him, to beg him to take me back. 

I walk back into the room and crawl back into Amelia's bed. She doesn't ask any questions as the tears start to fall again. 

"What do you want to watch now?"

 Amelia asks and I poke my head out of my depressed cocoon of blankets, watching her sort through Netflix. She scrolls past Phantom of the Opera and taps on it.

 Marius had once said something about Phantom of the Opera.
Thinking of his words reminds me of when I was holding him in my arms shortly before we broke up. 

The hot tears gather and fall causing me to curl back into my cocoon.

 "Aw Jamie not again!" Amelia cries out as she pulls me into a tight hug.

 "No, play it anyways, I want to see who he was talking about,"

 I tell her and can hear it continue. 

*I'm almost done with my essays...unnng