After breaking up with the love of his life, One of the guys finds themselves alone and unable to go without. With broken relationships and broken people finding ways to fix themselves, this season will be the most delicate season yet as Marius, Fin...
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(Mari POV)
When he leaves I drop the highlighter.
My hands shaking from the overwhelming grief that takes over like a tidal wave. Pulling me into this intense sadness with no chance of escape as I fall sideways onto my bed, my book on Project Kaleb tumbles to the floor with a loud thud but I don't care.
I stare blankly at the white wall across the room.
Alone.
With no one to pull me close, to cuddle me and kiss me and love me passionately.
There was no love that could ever compare to Jamie's.
No man could ever feel the same.
I felt dead inside. More dead than when my papa passed away.
At least I had Jamie to support me, but now I have no one.
I am alone, without a hand to hold or a chest to snuggle.
Without a shoulder to cry on as the inanimate duvet catches these tears with no affection to give back. Without the soft words of encouragement, the gentle rubbing of my back holding the most comforting touch.
My hair was in my eyes but there was no one to push it back as I scratch the sheets with the edge of my fingernail.
The small vibrations reaching my ear and give me some sort of physical feeling without the comfort. I look over to Jamie's empty bed.
The sheets laid untouched as if he never slept there.
As if we never spent countless hours locked in each other's arms while whispering soft sweet nothings. As he said, I pretended I was okay, but in reality, I wasn't okay. It was just a false front I put in front of other people so they don't ask questions.
The same with my overly happy self, just another false front to hide the depression building inside.
Scratching the white sheet, I gently close my eyes. The hot tears drifting down my fat cheeks was the only thing to warm me from the drafts coming in through the doors.
Whenever I started to shiver from the cold, Jamie would hold me close and make sure I was all tucked in, while I pretended to continue sleeping.
Jamie made the days worth living and the world worth seeing, but without him, this happiness is gone and my world is gray. But it's my own fault. I only wanted to protect him. I never want to see him hurt again, whether it be to protect me or the from the danger that comes with my name.
With my eyes still squeezed shut, I cry so hard it hurts. It hurts my numbed chest and burns my soul with a raging wind that had blown out the fire of my love.
I don't deserve love, especially not his love.
It's better this way.
No one deserves to have to put up with me every day, poor Jamie.
He's probably so much happier now. But the thought of him being happier without me makes me sick and I try to swallow this helpless moment in heartache. I feel like I'm dying. Is this the heartache my papa was talking about?
I open my eyes again to realize I had cried myself to sleep, and the sun was now setting through the windows.
The orange light invading the room as I close my eyes again feeling the cold chill down to my bones. The silence of the room causing my ears to ring, missing the sound of his voice.
Until a loud thud against my window scares me so much I tumble off my twin bed.
*Did this at 1am fam. Will edit for mistakes in the morning
