Playing With Fire - COMPLETED

C4 - if you were on fire & i had a bucket of water, i would drink the water

you know the first breath you take after you've been drowning in water. that's what I needed, that freedom but right now I felt like someone was pushing me further and further under water. I was drowning and no one saw me cry for help. I was exposed. the reason why I put up a facade was clear and raw. he saw it. the second when my dress rose up. my scars were on full show. he reached out to help me up, I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me." I hissed. I got up collected my books, picked up my bag and left. this time he didn't run after me. Maybe he stood there frozen in the moment or maybe he turned away and went back to class, erasing the moment from his memory quicker than it happened. I rushed down the stairs and walked until I saw the female sign on the bathroom door and pushed it open. I felt physically sick, my hand clasped over my mouth. the two other girls in the bathroom took this as a clue to leave. the second I leaned over the toilet, the remnants of my stomach exited my body. I fell to the side of the cubical as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I honestly thought I was getting better. But, it was evident I was going back to spiralling out of control. I want to have someone be there for me. I want to tell someone how I'm feeling but right now the only thing that was coming out of my mouth was vomit. it constantly felt like I was drowning and everyone is four feet away and screaming, 'learn how to swim'.

waking up the next morning was hell. I begged my older brother if I could stay home but he didn't budge. I pulled my hoodie over my school dress and stared at myself in the mirror. I pulled my sleeves over my palms, repositioned my bag on my shoulder then turned away from the mirror and walked out of the room.

my day was mediocre. I categorised my mood as 'not feeling well' so nobody questioned a thing and they didn't. as lunch ended, I was back at my locker collecting my books for the following two classes. I stared at my timetable which was blu tacked to the door of the locker. Science then Media. Science was alright and we were handing in assignments in Media. I turned to walk to my friend Ethan's locker.

"Ready for science?" I forced a smile out. he gave me an apologetic look.

"Sorry to leave you but I've got a doctor's appointment now." he waved the early dismissal slip in front of my face.

"Okay, good luck." my smile immediately faded when I turned my back to him. My timetable this year kind of sucked when I felt like this. I was happy about it, to begin with. the freedom to work on my own and focus was what I needed but my opinion on it soon began to change.

science was surprisingly a breeze as all we did was watch a video and take notes. I walked into my Media to be greeted with an angry scrowl present of Mrs Rothmen's face.

"Late again Ariana," she spoke bitterly.

"Uh it's just Ari." she dismissed my correction and held her hand out.

"Your assignment please Ari." she gritted her teeth. the truth came into view. I wanted to crawl into a pit and die.

"It's on my laptop." she sighed at my reply.

"You know the rules. usually, this would go unpunished and you would just get a warning but this is the third time this year that you haven't got an assignment and you're late. again. detention. see me after class." she dismissed me with her hand. she started to walk away. I hurried after her.

"But it's just on my laptop. can I please just print it off straight and after class?"

"No!" she slammed the pile of assignments on her desk." you know the rules; printed before the class it's due or emailed at least 24hrs before if there are any discrepancies or a note from a parent. now correct me if I'm wrong you have done neither." I accepted my fate and replied, without any dignity.

"no."

"Right now as you've missed the introduction of your next assignment due to your lateness I'll get someone to explain it to you. Hmmm. Claire, would you?"

Claire whom was nice enough but someone who I did not know very well, lifted her head from the computer in front of her.

"Sorry, I'm helping Toby with the program."

"Fair enough you'll go with Noah."

grudgingly I moved from the front of the room to the back desks where Noah sat.

"Let's get something straight." i started after slamming my books down on the table. "Let's get this straight. If you were on fire and i had a bucket of water i would drink the bucket of water instead therefore i would rather you explain this to me then leave me to myself for the rest of the lesson, okay?" Without any further interruptions of personal issues, he thoroughly explained our next assignment. i started typing on my laptop into a new document and opened a new tab on chrome, googling the clips i was asked to analyse. Soon enough I was interrupted as I was in the middle of my sentence about media conventions, someone nudged my shoulder. i ignored it at first. i knew who it was and i had no desire to listen to whatever pointless thing he was going to tell me. he nudged me, once.

"Can you stop." i didnt even look up. then he nudged me, twice.

"Please noah. Stop!"

he continuously kept nudging me until my last nerve was struck.

"STOP TOUCHING ME!" i stood up and yelled after swatting his hand away from my body.
"Ariana Cooper! Pipe down before i move you."
my blood boiled. i bitterly spoke through my teeth as i glared at her.
"It's. Just. Ari!"
"That's it! Detention after class! Sit next to my desk and don't make another sound."

dealing with a moody teacher was not high on my list of things I wanted to do, but I also did not want to make myself notorious for being unorganised and a brat. Without a next thought, i grabbed my books and walked out of class, not before looking Mrs Rothman dead in the eye and saying,

"You're a bitch."