Finding you

Chapter 16

Chris and Eddie were sitting in the living room in the evening, drinking hot cocoa and watching a movie together.

Eddie's guitar was hanging from a stand on the wall, it was a fender that he picked out the other day with Chris.

"So, you're the birthday boy soon, huh?" Chris said, sipping his drink and putting it onto the table.

Eddie kept his eyes on the screen but engaged in the conversation "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Besides, you already gave me a guitar and a home, I couldn't ask for more"

Chris rolled his eyes "But still, you're turning how old again?"

"Twenty th-"
Just before he could finish, the phone rang.

"I'll get it" Chris said, jumping off the sofa and ruffling Eddie's hair.

"Hello?"
"Hey Chris, it's Matt. I just wanted to check on you and your friend, Eddie. How's it going anyway?"
"Ummm" Chris paused, looking over to the sofa to see the back of Eddie's head.
"Pretty good, we were just watching a movie actually."
"Oh good, I just wanted to check everything's okay, he seemed a little uneasy the other day so you know"
"Yeah, he's a great friend and a great roommate too. Listen, gotta go. Bye"

And Chris put the phone down.

Eddie overheard what Chris was saying, but he hated being referred to as a 'friend'. He wanted to be more than that, he was in love with Chris but he still didn't know how Chris really felt about him. The closest they've ever been together is sleeping in the same bed, but that's about it. He wanted to kiss Chris, but how would he react?

"Who was it?" Eddie asked, turning his head to look at Chris.

"Matt, the guy we bumped into the other day. I was just telling him how great you are of a friend and that we're watching a movie so he let me put the phone down." Chris explained

"Oh, right." Eddie turned away to look at the screen. If he heard 'friend' one more time, he could go crazy.

Chris knew something was annoying Eddie, and he didn't want him to be upset for whatever reason it may be.
He leaned over to him and put his arm over his shoulders.

"What's up?"
"Nothing" Eddie mumbled, looking at the screen.
"Look at me and tell me it's nothing then" Chris asked, leaning to the remote to reduce the sound.

Eddie sighed.

"Chris, listen. I'm not really into girls alright? Waves roll in my thoughts and it's just.." Eddie's voice trailed off, he couldn't tell Chris that he loved him.

Chris made eye contact with Eddie, and made a small silence before speaking.

"Just what?"

Eddie looked around anxiously, but Chris lightly turned his hand under his chin, making him look at him.

"Well.. I.."
"Well, what?"

Eddie looked down, then looked back up.
"It's stupid, Chris. It really is"

"Eddie, i don't care if your bisexual or gay or whatever you want to be, I'll always be here for you no matter what."

They were around 3 inches away from each other's faces, and it was quiet.

"No Chris, I'm gay and I don't have a problem with that. I knew you wouldn't either. Umm.. when we were in the restaurant last week and you remember that lady that was checking you out? What did you mean when you said she wasn't your type?"

Eddie looked back up at Chris, making eye contact throughout the rest of the conversation.

"Well I guess I just meant that she wasn't for me. Besides, thinking about it now, I've never really dated guys before but recently I've been really thinking about who I really am. I mean, I know I'm not straight up.. straight. But I think guys just make me more happier now. I could be gay for all I know, but I'm definitely bisexual. Though, I can totally see myself being gay and I probably am to be honest. Looking back at my previous relationships with my past girlfriends, I never really loved any of them. So what if I'm gay? I've kinda just discovered a whole new aspect of me and I like that."

Eddie lightly smiled at Chris, and Chris shot one back.

So now what? Eddie knows that he could definitely be in Chris's range but all Chris ever does is refer to him as a friend.

"Do you really mean it when you call me a friend? Do you ever think that maybe we could ever be closer?"

"We are closer Eddie, you're my best friend. I can trust you with anything." Chris said with a reassuring back-pat.

Eddie looked down and tried to contain himself before he could let any emotion out.

"I'm going up now. Night Chris. And uh, thank you"
"Night sunshine"