Assume (Solby)

Chapter 4

(Colby POV)

I laid in bed and scrolled through twitter on my phone. 

This is all I really do now. Sit on my phone and regret everything I have ever done wrong in my life.

I am really stuck in my head. Have been for awhile. What's sad is no one noticed me acting 'odd'. Because I was weird smiley funny Colby. But I turned into sad broken scared Colby. Only he noticed. Only he would help me. But he hates me now and that is okay cause I have learned to hate me too.

I have Brennen now. I have had him. But I know he would rather go out and party with all his happy friends. Because I don't like parties. And I am not happy. I pretend to be, but it gets harder to keep that act up.

Days bleed into each other and dammit I don't know what day it is because everything repeats it's self and I am stuck here drowning in thoughts and I just miss my old life where everything was fun and happy and adventurous.

No one believes it. No one thinks one person, one sentence, one word, can ruin your fucking life.

God do I hate him for making me like this. But God do I not care and do I miss him.

My old friends are still living their happy lives, probably going exploring like I used to, still having fun without me. Because they don't need me. No one needs me. No one wants a broken shell of what used to be.

Suddenly I can't breathe and tears begin flowing out of my eyes cause I want it to stop. I curl into myself cause I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by emotions, overwhelmed by all the old memories, overwhelmed by pain, overwhelmed by everything. I want my old life back and I want to make more of those happy memories and I want the pain to stop and damn if I could just go back and make sure this never happened I would but I can't. 

Everything is already said and done and it's my fault. My fault. I would do it all again if only I could but I know I can't.

He hates me. They all hate me.

I am overwhelmed and it's my fault.

-

"Colby, did you sleep last night? You look tired as hell." Brennen says.

"Eh, I was on my phone all night watching netflix." Wow, I am an amazing liar.

"Oh. So, you should come to a party with me tonight. Scott invited me yesterday. Everyone is gonna be there from the vlog squad." Brennen said. Wow, he bought the Netflix thing.

"I don't know. You know partying isn't my thing." I said. It really isn't, I'm don't even like drinking.

"Well, you need to get out more and this is a chance. So, you are going." Brennen says, "Plus, there might be some fire bitches there, eh?"

I let a small laugh escape me, "You are such an idiot." I say.

He elbows me, "Fire bitchessss."

I laughed some more. Laughing, sometimes I forget what that's like. It's nice.

"Fine, I'll go with you. Just because you can't get any 'fire bitches' without me." I say standing up and walking over to my room.

"I can get plenty of fire bitches with out you!" I hear Brennen yell from the living room.

I burst out laughing in my room. 

I grab some different clothes to wear for the party later and put them on. Maybe going to this party is a good idea. Maybe it will take my mind off things.

Hopefully it will take my mind off things.

-

Party update. I did something I didn't know I would ever do. I got very very drunk. Oops.

So here I am stumbling around on some LA street with Brennen, trying to find our way home because the thought of calling an uber hadn't crossed our stupidly drunk minds yet.

"Fuck Yeah!" Brennen yelled.

"Helllloooo LA!" I screamed.

 We laughed like idiots. 

"Where the girls at?" Brennen asked.

"Dumb ass we left like 15 minutes ago." I said laughing.

Brennen is a very light drinker. Considering how much he drank, he won't remember shit in the morning.

"Colbyyyy my legs are tired!" He said falling on the ground.

I'm sick of picking him up so I just sit down next to him.

He leaned over and put his head on my shoulder. I pushed him off, "Don't go to sleep on the street idiot!" I said.

"But I'm tiiirreed." 

"And you act like a fucking kid." I said laughing again.

Brennen laughed back.

Then it was just us sitting on an LA street, in silence. Watching cars drive by.

"This is peaceful man." Brennen said.

"Yeah." I said.

"bro, I know how to get home." He said.

"How?"

"Uuuber." he said.

I just cracked up laughing. I don't know why, but that was fucking hilarious.

"Yeah. Yeah call one." I said trying not to laugh more.

Then we were home about 30 mins later.

I fell onto the couch, and I began to fall asleep.

-

I woke up to Brennen shaking me.

"Mmm, what?" I asked.

"Bro, we got fucking wasted." He said. You could tell he just woke up cause his voice was rough.

"Yeah, leave me alone I wanna sleep." I said rolling over. Then I realized I was on the couch. "What the..?"

"You're on the couch Colbs." He said.

"Yeah, I think I know that now." I said yawning and sitting up.

"Better then me, I woke up on the fucking floor." He said stretching.

I giggled.

"Ah, fuck off." Brennen said, sounding annoyed.

"Hangover?" I asked.

"Yeah.." He said.

I stood up and patted his head, which he smacked my hand to. "I'm going to sleep more. Bye." I said walking into my room.

I closed the door and groaned. I was pretty hungover too.

I fell onto my bed and buried myself in blankets.

I have to admit, it was nice getting my mind off things like that. But I probably would wait awhile before doing it again.