Assume (Solby)

Chapter 12

(Colby POV)

I got home to an empty house. Brennen was out filming probably. Cool I guess, just me in the house, alone.

I wish I was with Sam. Yes, I just left his house, but I miss spending everyday with him.

I... I think I love him. More then a best friend.

It's sad because he has a girlfriend and we always used to say we never liked each other so, I know he doesn't like me like that. He never will, so I need to get over it.

I sighed and dropped onto the couch, turning Netflix on.

I'm kinda used to being left here alone all the time. Brennen has to film, and well, I upload every 2 weeks and if I am in a good mood, one every week. So, I don't really film.

Most of my fans left me after me and Sam parted ways. They said it was my fault.. my fault for leaving. Maybe it was.

The Sam and Colby channel, died. We haven't uploaded in over a year. We went from 1 million subscribers, to 800,000. Yes, that many left. 200,000 people left the channel after we broke up. I don't blame them. They knew we weren't uploading, so why stay subscribed?

Sam never stopped uploading. Corey told me he used it to cope with everything. He filmed and filmed and filmed and edited and edited.

That's how I found out I had hurt him. Which is why I was so hard on myself. But he hurt me! So.. it was fair. But I still feel horrible. Absolutely horrible.

My stupid thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing.

It was Elton.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey Colby. How's it going?"

"It's been okay. Nothing to exciting going on."

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to go on trip? Up to northern California to this beach town called Gualala. Stop a lot on the way up and stuff."  He said.

Hm. That actually sounds fun. Get out of LA for awhile. But, who else is going? "Yeah! That sounds awesome. Who else is going?"

"Actually, I don't know yet. Corey can't come, I would ask Scott but he is working on that song, Heath is definitely going though. I asked Jay and he said he had some stuff going on. You got any suggestions?"  He asked 

"Sam." I said immediately.

"Sam? But, don't you two, you know, hate each other?"  He asked cautiously.

"Actually, me and Sam finally met face to face again and we are fine now. So, it would be awesome if he came."

"Thank god. I was worried you two would really never talk to each other again. Sam was so messed up over it and- you know what this is a conversation for another time. I'll go give him a call. We leave Monday. Which is two days away. That okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Uh, talk later?" I was filling with a sinking feeling. I wanted to hang the phone up.

"Yeah, text you later."

"Okay, bye."

"Okay, b-"  I hung up.

I put my phone down. I covered my face. Did I hurt him? That bad? I thought he was happy without me. I mean, I know I wasn't happy without him. But, I hurt him. I hurt the person I love. I mean, he is fine now right? Yeah, he forgave me. Right? He doesn't hate me. Right? I hope he doesn't. He probably does. Why do I think so much? It's so annoying. I used to only do this sometimes now I do it everyday except when I am with Sam because he just distracts me. 

Shit, am I crying? I got caught up in my thoughts. I hate when I do that.

It's okay Colby, you just gotta push through. You'll be fine. Sam doesn't hate you. Maybe he does but that doesn't matter. Just gotta-

"Colby?"

Aaaaaand Brennen's home. Of course right when I am freaking out. Just kill me already.

"Hey, um, I'm good." I said wiping my eyes and standing up. I smiled, pretty unconvincingly. 

"Why do you lie about that when it is bluntly obvious you aren't?" He asked looking at me.

My smile fell and we kinda just looked at each other. He sighed, I looked down.

"I just, don't.. want you to worry or.. something." I said.

"Colby, that's not gonna stop me from worrying about you. Now, tell me what's up." He said putting his camera on the table.

Sometimes, I think Brennen cares too much. Anytime he sees something wrong, he makes me talk about it. Yes, it does make me feel better telling someone. But, I hate having people worrying about me. I remember I used to tell Sam that all the time, stuff like 'stop worrying about me' and he would respond with 'how? I care to much about you.' It always made me happy but now I just, don't like it. Maybe because it's not Sam saying it? I have problems with that. I can't call anyone my best friend because that title lost trust. Because of Sam. It's not his fault though! It was mine. Mine mine mine. I hate when people blame him. I am the one who left and ruined everything-

"Colby." Brennen said. He was sitting next to me now. Wow, I keep getting lost in thought.

"Yeah yeah. I've just been thinking about.. stuff." yeah, stuff as in everything.

"What stuff?"

Stop caring dammit. "Sam."

"I thought you two were cool?" He asked.

My fault. "Yeah I just, I still blame myself. I uh, I hurt him. I didn't want to do that. I just, I needed to get out. But I hurt him. I hurt the person I think I love and it is fucking killing me right now. And on Monday I am going a I don't even know how long trip with him!"

"I know we were deep, but did you just say you were in love with Sam?" HE asked.

SHIT SHIT SHIT. "I, um. No, maybe. Brennen shut up." I said, I felt myself go red.

"I fucking called it. I knew it I knew it." He said with a stupid grin.

I smiled shyly, "Brennen fuck off I said nothing! I was getting deep sit down and help me."

"Is Sam gay? BI maybe?" He asked.

"No- Brennen, ugh, come on."

"Listen, I can help you get with him. I know he has to have a bit of the same feeling for you. When he was over the way he looked at you he looked in love, no joke." Brennen said.

Wait, really? I need to not focus on that, I need to shut him up. "Sam has a girlfriend." I said.

"Oh... Shit, sorry. I was getting off topic. Man. I'm sorry I just-"

"It's fine. I'm gonna, go in  my room and edit a video." I said sighing and standing up.

"O-okay." Brennen said.

I walked into my room, closed the door, and collapsed onto my bed.

I sighed and shoved my head into the pillow. Nothing ever goes right for me. Can't I be happy for two fucking seconds?

A/N: Oh my god I am so sorry for not updating. Since I got back from Cali (I visited there for a week) back on new years I just didn't have time to write. School finals came up and honestly I was in a bit of a bad spot for awhile and I couldn't write. I am also grounded (oof) and I only have my phone from when I go to school to when I get home for god knows how long and I had to sneak on to the house computer to write this. So sorry for a very overdue update but I had some stuff to deal with. Thank you for reading!