3 Years

Chapter 17

The next morning I woke up, completely forgetting where I was. At first I thought that I was back in my bedroom in the cabin but something about that wasn't right. Opening my eyes a bit more, I saw that this wasn't the cabin or my own house. I felt someone shift next to me and I looked over quickly. Dan. That's when the memories of the night before came flooding into my mind. 

I groaned and covered my face with my arms. What was I going to do? There was no way in hell I was going back home after what had happened. At the same time, there's no way I could stay at Dan's house. Even if he wanted me to I couldn't. I don't like swearing but I was royally fucked. 

"Phil?" Dan put his hand on my arm, trying to pull it away.

"Hm?" I was pretty sure that I was crying but he didn't need to know that.

"What are you going to do now?"

I shrugged, still trying not to talk. Another reason why I didn't really answer his question was because I didn't know how to. It's hard to tell the boy you like (but don't trust) that you have literally nowhere to go but you won't ask him for more help. To be honest, I've already asked for way too much help.

"Don't stop talking to me again Phil." Dan begged, pulling my arm away from my face fully. 

When I looked at his face I saw all the tears running down his face. I had no idea why he was crying but I automatically felt terrible. If I wasn't here he probably wouldn't be crying. If I wasn't here he'd probably be out with his friends enjoying himself and making proper memories. Nobody wants to look back on their teenage years and see that they didn't do anything amazing with them. 

"I won't." I whispered, hugging him close. I was honestly terrified of hugging him like this again but I needed him. I also needed to find a way to assure him that I wasn't lying. 

Dan immediately wrapped his arms around me and put his cheek on the top of my head. Sitting like this made me want to curl up in Dan's lap and never leave. It made me want to forget about everything that had happened on that night with Jack. Sadly, things don't work like that in my mind. Maybe you're the kind of person that forgives and goes back to people quickly but I'm not. It actually took me 2 years to feel comfortable around my mum after what happened with Martin. Now look at what she's done. That's going to do wonders for my trust issues. 

"I know you probably won't like this idea," Dan started. "But you really should just stay here until you have somewhere to go. You can have your own room and everything!"

I started chewing on the inside of my lip, a nervous habit I'd picked up when...I don't really know when I started actually. It just sort of happened. 

Anyways, I seriously had to think about this offer. Sure living with Dan could be great. He'd always be with me if I needed him but at the same time I didn't want anything to happen. Living in the same house as Jack's best mate could be a huge problem. If Dan ever invited him to come around I'd be screwed unless I hid for however many hours. 

"I don't know..." I mumbled, still chewing my lip slightly. 

"Come on Phil! I promise I'll keep you safe this time! You can trust me!" 

Hearing Dan say that I could trust him made me cringe quite a bit. All my life people have been telling me to trust them because they really do care but they've all done something horrible in the end. I didn't know how to respond to that. I couldn't just tell him that I didn't trust him but I also couldn't just agree to stay with him. God. Why is my life confusing? Why can't a genius have a confusing life? 

"I'm not sure Dan."

Dan tapped my lip with his finger, making me stop chewing. "Don't do that, you'll cut your lip open or something. But please Phil. If you think that you're in danger for some reason at any point you can leave. You don't even have to tell me that you're going."