Let me tell you

Chapter 4

Chapter 4 …

We were sitting back in the corner of the coffee shop. Coffe shop was very cozy I must admit. It was really old and vintage, but I think that's the same thing. He sat beside me and he just stared at me. I felt a little bit uncomfortable. ''Now, are you going to read it to me or not? That's why we're here.'' I sung to him.

He just took his jacket off, grab his paper, cleared his throat and started to read.

''Dear old me, you are stupid for letting your family to suffer because of you and your mistakes. Your mistakes doesn't define you, old me, but you made it. You didn't kill yourself. That's a huge step for you, actually it's a huge step for future me. You didn't gave up even you didn't have anything. You made mistakes, but you correct them as you breath. When you inhale, you have a chance to correct something, and when you exhale, you see are you made some new mistakes or you repaired old ones. In all of that, thank you for everything dear old me, I got it from now.'' He slowly finished and he looked at me expecting my review. I was speechless. I couldn't describe it with words.

When he finished, I was, well I don't know how to explain my situation. Angry, maybe? Becuase he didn't have self confident or grateful because he knows where he did wrong, but still he didn't gave up. Thank you God, he didn't kill himself.

''Theo, don't ever doubt in yourself anymore. Nobody's perfect and you have to know that. Yes, you did a few mistakes , but the mistakes doesn't define you, you know. We all could kill ourselves and what would the world be without us? Just a crazy planet without crazy people like us. That's us. We are crazy, but we are mistakers too.'' I said

He didn't said anything, he just had a plain look on his face.

''Look, let's make a deal. As long as we stay here, we are going to be friends, no, best friends.'' I corrected myself. ''We are going to be classic best friends, you know, sleepovers, painting out tooenails, gossiping and things like that, what do you think? '' I grinned at him like a ceshire cat. He smiled. '' Okay, but I'm not painitng my toenails, Got it?!'' ''I'm very disappointed at you now, but okay, no pedicure for you as long as you are awake.'' I winked at him. … '

...

'Hey mom, what's up?''

My mother was on the phone. Well, when I came in the room after ''our date'', my phone rang. From the other side of the line looked like I've heard my mother's voice. Indeed yes, it was my precius mother

''Hey Winter, nothing, just checking you up.'' She said on the phone.

''I'm fine, you don't have to call me, I made friends and it's all good overhere. Listen, I need to go, bye'.'

I hang up before she could answer back. I was angry at them. They controlled my life, beacuse I wasn't stable. I'm grateful for that, but they need to know I'll never be perfect daughter. I'm just a mistaker, nothing else.

I need some weed, but I knew I was stronger than that, I was better than that. Before I got here I promised myself I'm going to have my old life back, before I started with all these shits. I need some old times, when I actually liked my life. Is this going to happened any time soon? 

But I know it's sleep time. I just want to lay down and forget about my mistakes, after all I can't blame myself for being me and for being here. That night I dreamed about my future. I was out of this withdrawal. I was finally happy and living my life like I always wanted. But I wasn't alone. I had Theo beside me, he was still my best friend and our children were playing outside. He was living across of my house. We were drinking wine in the evening on my house porch. He had a child but I didn't see who was his wife. The contet of the dream doesn't matter. This was the first happy dream I dreamd in a while.

Ladies and Gentelman, beacuse of Theo I was getting better. Thank you, Theo. He is going to be my best friend. I can feel it, but I don't want to think about it. It's to early to think about him. Too damn early.