Let me tell you

Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

'' You do realise that it's three in the morning? What's wrong?'' Theo worriedly asked.

'' We need to clear some things and it's bugging me for like a week . I need to tell you something. It's going to ruin our friendship.'' I said

'' Tell me.''

'' I started to falling for you and I can't help it.''

'' Are you serious? You are my best friend: How could you do that to me?'' He asked.

'' Do what? That I started to love you more than friends or that i confessed that do you? I know what are you thinking now, but I needed to tell you.'' I said back.

'' Please can you go out? I need to think about that what you just said. Because I'm going to hurt you if I tell you my thoughts about it.''

'' You don't have to, I already know your feelings.'' I said and went out of his room.

* * *

It has been one week since I told him about my feelings and also it has been one week since I saw him last time. He doesn't come to the group meetings and I have heard some stories about him. The plan that we had was gone now and I don't know what to do without him. Zoe tried to help me and she even tried to cheer me up but she didn't have any success in that. I was really depressed. I stayed in my room all day long. I couldn't eat and I was really unhappy.

Somone knocked on my door and I opened it. There was Zoe. She was crying and she had some papers in her hands. When she came in my room she couldn't talk, she just showed me the papers. The papers were THAT papers. The criminal reports of Aiden Black. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell her that it was all our plan. But I couldn't do it to Theo. This is so messed up, I thought to myself. I need to comfort Zoe now, so I tried my best.

'' Look Zoe, I know you love him and I'm sure he loves you too. But I think you need to know about his past. This criminal report probably sent you someone who takes care of you. And he maybe even loves you.''

'' Wait, what do you mean HE? WInter, do you know something about it?'' She asked me, I could tell she thinks I know something, but oh God, I do. I really do know who sent that to you. But I couldn't betray Theo. '' No, I just think, maybe someone has a crush on you and someone is trying to show you how Aiden is not good for you. '' I finished.

'' Look WInter, you don't know half of this. And I do. He told me everything about that. I know he was in a jail. I'm crying because someone knows his past too. He has a few haters and I'm afraid someone is going to hurt him now, when the campus knows he was in a jail. Just think what is going to happen'. He is going to quit his job and move back to California. '' She started again with crying.

'' I think you are a little bit over dramatic. Calm down. Nobody is going to find out. '' I assured her.

From her little speech I realised what true love is. Even though they are not perfect they are still trying to be better persons. I really think they can make it, but now, I need to stop our plan we had in mind. I realised I need Theo in my life. He can be my friend or he can be my lover, I don't care, as long as he is in my life.

After a while she left to her dorm. She said she needs to study something. Yes, she still goes to school. And what about me? I was alone, again. I need my best friend back. I screwed up, I know. But I need to fix it somehow. But before I started thinking what will I do, I got a letter under my door. I picked it up and started reading.

Dear Winter, it's me, Theo

You need to know I'm fine and I have left, but I promise you I will come back after month or longer. You scared the shit out of me when you confessed you are falling for me. I didn't mean to overreact like I did. But you need to know, after what happened to me since my last relationship I have trust issues. It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust myself. You know, even though it's past I'm still afraid of love. But I'm gone for good. I will be back and I promise you I will love you with all of my heart. You deserve that. Hang in there.

Love, Theo

I didn't expect that kind of letter. I didn't even know where Theo was and that bothered me a lot. I need to be strong for him. I know he had somekind of terrible relationship, but I promise myself that I'm going to love him with all of my heart. He deserve that, but I think I don't deserve him. He is to good for me. So I decided to change just because of him. If he is going to love me back I need to be better person. So from now I'm going to be better person to everyone, starting with my relationship with my parents. I'm not going to call them because we will start arguing and I don't do anything in that way. I will just write them a letter. So I started. I didn't even know how hard this is going to be for me.

Dear mom and dad, it's me.

I'm writting this letter because I want you to know that I'm very sorry for everything. For my drinking, running away from home and many more other things I have done. I realised you dont deserve any of this. And I'm really sorry for putting you out there when you were calling or visiting me. I've changed and I think in less then a month I'm going to be so much better person. Just to let you know, I'm really sorry for everything I've done to you. You don't deserve that. And also, I love you more than anything,

Love, Winter

That's it. I think this is going to be good. Tomorrow I will send that and I need to expect the best of it, Everyone deserve love. We just need to provied that to others. But self love is very important too, If you don't love yourself, then who will?