In The Heart Of Her Mind.

The Letters I Wrote.

"I don't want you seeing him!" I whisper-yelled due to our surroundings setting her taken aback in an amused manner.

"I'll decide to see who I want, whenever I want to Micah. Why is it such a big deal if I'm the one with you?" Isabella let out a small laugh at my outburst.

"Because he's clearly not thinking about you guys just being friends! For God's sake he never takes his eyes off of your ass." I threw my hands up and pulled on the strands of my hair in exasperation.

Bella let out a humourless laugh. "Okay, you need to calm down. Staring at my ass? He's like a brother Micah." Bella shook her head and walked to another shelf picking out a few books.

"I can't keep seeing him with you. I know the guy is bad news. I don't want you getting hurt when I'm not there. I said more to my self, feeling defeated.

"You won't have to see us in any kind of way Micah, because I'll never be his."
•••

"Why am I doing this?" I say as I look at the man who didn't resemble my former self from this time last year. My reflection couldn't make me any more irritable.

I had on a striped buttoned down shirt with short sleeves and dark washed jeans. They were a part of the clothes Carmen had picked out for me.

You don't have to go.

You shouldn't go.

She won't let you down easy if you don't go.

I thought out different options before my eyes landed at the clock on top of my bedside table reading, 8:55, obviously meaning I was late for the party so everyone would pretty much guess I wasn't going to show.

I had a chance to stay home, it wouldn't be so horrible, my reason being that it was a normal feeling. The fantasy had to end unfortunately as soon as I read the text that lighted up my phone.

"Where the hell are you?" The message read, followed by my phone ringing.

"I can't make it."

"Why not?" She asked.

"I've got the flu. It's really bad."

"Bullshit, you were fine yesterday. " Carmen cursed and I rubbed my temples.

"Look, I was supposed to come get you but my car got busted Delgado. One of my friends can pick you up-"

"No, I mean, I'm not coming over at all." I say to her as I take a seat on the edge of my bed.

"You said you would." I could picture her now. Eyebrows furrowed with a hand on her hip as her foot taps furiously.

"No, you imposed it." I heard her puff clearly proving I was right.

"I really wanted you to come. I got you a green gingerbread house and everything." Annoyance filled her tone.  

I thought of the strange colour for the gingerbread house briefly before I tried to dismiss the call. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, whatever... I'm texting you the address so you can come over when you grow some balls." She ended the call before I could object compelling me to throw my phone lightly behind me, sending it bouncing a few times on the bed.