L O S T lil xan

Chapter 20

flash back .

I stare at the once to be white wall which  was now a bloody wall.  I stare down at the body ,   that I've killed . Another dead one in this world . But the souls gone now . It was a girl . Looked just like Elora , and I hated it .Didn't even know her name . Everything  was a blur like always . But I seen the dead body clearly and the blood that was all over me and the walls .

I sat down in the chair . Staring at her . Wondering what I've done once again . I can't be with girls if it's not Elora  . I'm so Lost . So gone . I need help . But fuck that help . I rather die and be on my own like I always been .

Her smile .

The way she moved down the sidewalk . With out even trying .

Her long brown golden hair .

Her dark brown eyes that had a story  hidden behind them . But I was too  fucked up to notice . Now I'm here in L.A thinking I run the place . Thinking I'm on top when I'm really six feet under . I took a large drink of whiskey .

Tears falling . Eyes blood shot .

Fans think  I'm partying or I'm happy or nothing wrong . Or that I have all these bitches  .

But really -

I'm dying .

I'm crying .

I'm drinking .

And it's all repeat. 

And this all feels like a dream  but I know it's not . It's not and I'm really here living the way I do . I love what I do make music  but not what my hands do .

I threw the now empty whiskey bottle  across the room watching the glass breaking . Like my heart . I stood from the chair falling over here and there . But I walked over to the girl . Got to my knees .

Staring at her . My eyes filled with tears . I was like a waterfall .

" I'm so sorry . I'm so sorry Elora for ever leaving you . For hurting  you . For being someone that I wasn't . I'M SORRY ! AND I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T CARE . BECAUSE  NOW YOU HATE ME . ! AND I HATE ME TOO . I DON'T BLAME YOU . I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR HATING ME .! " I screamed at the dead body hugging it laying there in a puddle of blood crying .

Last back over ...

I was running on empty on blood . I was limping / running to the nearest pay phone . Before I fell over and be dead . Which I honestly  wouldn't care . But I had to have a little care because  Elora was taken .

I didn't know if she was dead or alive and that scared me . The cold air hit my face . Ohio's weather is the most bipolar  State there is in the U.S .

~It really is 😂~

But I couldn't let that effort  me . Because the losing blood was already .  I fell to my knees holding my stomach in pain . The pain was like the day I left Elora . The most painful pain I've ever had in my 21 years living in this shit whole called the world .

"Fuck." I cussed pushing my back against  the cold brick wall . I looked up at the stars . They was all so bright. As I was thinking about the bright beautiful  stars that's when I began throwing up . Throwing up my insides . Dark blood basically  flew out of my mouth .

It wouldn't stop . But few minutes later it finally stopped and my breathing was getting slower and slower . Body finally gave up on me . The heart I still have was hardly beating .

I fell to my side to where my throw up laid and that's where I began laying . My eyes , my green eyes began going in and out . My head screamed  for me to keep my eyes open but my body said differently . As I finally gave up before I closed them one last time couple body figures  ran towards  me ..

That's when everything turned off ....

" 21 year old Diego who likes to be called " Lil Xan ". Had died later last night after being shot in the stomach several times . Still unknown how that had happened .  Police are still doing research . Please keep his family , fans  in your prayers . This is Rose on News of Fox 8 and that's it .. goodnight ."

~ (; ~

20 votes for next chapter (:

~But one , I hope you guys had a cool ass Christmas and I hope that this New Year will bring you all readers peace and lots of joy . And thank you guys for 20K+ reads and 717+ votes ! That's so crazy and my grammar  and spelling suck  !!!!!!!!! I love you all its another short chapter  but just wait for the next one ...... it might just blow your mind (;

xxxskyler~