L O S T lil xan

•read•

~ I'd like to say a few things. You don't have to read this if you don't want to . I'm okay with that . So you can skip and Chapter 22 will be posted in a day or two .

But hi ,
I'm Skyler Joy I'm 17 almost 18 in April . As you guys got into the stories you guys probably  since chapter one came across lots & lots of mistakes and I'm very sorry.  Yes I may be 17 but I've always struggled with reading & writing and I do apologize . But I'm working on it like really hard not just for yall but for myself .

But I live in Leetiona,Ohio with my Aunt , Uncle and three boy cousins.  (Sucks being the only girl) but my home town is Canton, Ohio.  i  miss it .

i  really do . i  miss my mom , my little sister and my old friends .

But lots has happened to me in the past two years .

I lost my mind . I was very , very sick .

But the reason I lost my mind all started when I was four . Getting molested by a man . ( I'm not going to go into details ) But  I'm very proud of myself that I'm even telling you random people but there's a reason I am .

If you did go threw that horrible trauma . You know the pain , the hurt , the not to be able to trust men just because of that one . But you CAN'T let that one man control your life forever . You have so much to live for , you don't gotta believe me but I promise  you'll find out what you was here to live for .

And it hurts , it's very painful . It sometimes even damage people for life . But you can't let it get to that point . Because  then you'll just end up dead and we can afford people like YOU to  leave . Because  you could've been a doctor saving lives or a teacher teaching children how to read the Cat In The Hat . Life sucks , everyone says that even famous people .

But we have to find ways to make life better . And not kill it with sadness.

But I kept it in I wished someone would've told me this a whole back before my life changed me forever. 

Then my older brother put a shot gun to his head and pulled the tiger after my birthday in 2011 . He died . And I just turned 11 . The next day after my birthday when I find out.  I cried.  I cried telling my moms ex pchyo boyfriend sorry for crying.  He hated when we cry . When we cried he would hit my mom .

Then we was getting kicked out of houses left and right . Watching my momma get beaten and getting put 6 six under.  And my depression took over my life . Started cutting when I was 13 scared I'd cut to deep , but I needed something to take the pain away . I couldn't take it. I didn't want to take it anymore. 

Then things or better few years later . Until I was a freshman.  I'd have nightmares or me killing my family or my dogs or my sisters getting touch . I was in and out of mental  hospitals .

There was voices in my head . Telling me to hurt people I love so I'd hurt myself . I was in a very bad place . I was so sick . Very sick .

Not going to go into details ...

Then a year later my mom started doing drugs . That's when I dropped out school ( I'm back in school btw and have a job ) I'd go wild . Got chased by polices , popping people's pools for no care in the world . Smoking weed getting laced real bad almost dying .

Drinking , you name it . Because  I didn't want to be home . My mom was doing herion and popping xans . She let drugs take over and us her kids went without . I used to try and sell her pills that I found in her purse . To try to get food for us so we wasn't eating noodles for the millions of times . And dog food . It wasn't a home .

It was just gotta be another bad memorie that's gonna kill me . Like  if you seen the home , the way she looked and how we looked and the dogs looked . It was just horrible.  My mom sold everything in the house including mine and my older sisters stuff . Stole from her to get drugs . We didn't even get Christmas last year ( well we didn't either this year .) Then my mom went into rehab and I had to go to my abusive father's and all of our stuff got thrown to the crib .

I had a shit loads of The walking stuff that I've been collecting since I was 11 a year laster it came out and now it's all gone .

The letters I used to write to my brother about my day. 

Just everything .

After me and my father got into after he choked me against the fridge I ran away . And I never went back . Do my aunt picked me up from my friends three days later . And I almost been living here for a year and when I came here I was fucked up . I acted out hurt and I went to jail for 15 days and lemme tell you felt like 15 years . But now I'm better I have a job I'm in school . My mom's out she's okay and everything's fine . You'll never have a perfect life things will happen.  You just gotta face it to get to the next level .

Please of anyone need to talk . Message me . I use snap a lot so add me and let's be friends and just be crazy !! .
Here's my snap @/////skylerstinard1

Don't be afraid. 

I love you all ,thank you for who read my life in a short few paragraphs .

xxxskyler