Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

We make our way to victor’s village with our very few belongings to take with us, hand in hand embracing the grounds of 12 again. “I must admit it feels comforting to be home again” Peeta says. “Yes” I say staring at the very new victor’s village, the people of 13 have done an amazing job of rebuilding it. “It makes me feel closer to my family” Peeta says “I think this will help my recovery.”

We start to decorate our new home together, putting up a few of our belongings and old stuff from my home which got saved and recovered by my family, sadly there is nothing from Peeta’s old home. Once it looks as homely as we can make it for the moment we decide to take a break and go on a walk into town.

“It’s different” I mumble as we walk through the square “yeah” Peeta admits. I look around and spot the place where Gale got whipped months ago, so much has happened since then. We carry on walking in silence till we reach the market and buy some soup. “First day back eh already working” I say politely to the new lady working behind the counter. “Well yes not much to do at my new home at the moment” she replies “What can I get for you?” Peeta and I buy two hot soups and loads of veggies ect to fill our fridge.

On the walk home Peeta requests “please can we walk past my old home?” pointing towards the bakery. “Of course” I say trying not to let myself cry. When we get to it, it is just a space of old concrete, the builders decided to not re build it then I guess.

Peeta falls to his knees and strokes the ground like it is sacred, he hits the floor over and over again and starts screaming and crying “why did you let them die? How can we live like this” “Why didn’t you escape” Peeta is hitting the floor repeatedly and having a break down.

“Peeta” I say trying to lift him off the floor but he is blanking me out “How can people live like this” he shouts and shouts shifting his arms through the air with anger. I give up and just stroke his hair for a while but nothing seems to be calming him down. “Snow you’re going to go down” he whispers, finally stopping with his loud howls. Instead he just sits there in a heap of the floor, silently sobbing. I don’t really know what to do so I just grab a piece of the concrete to bring home so he can have something from home at our new home and I manage to pick him off the floor now and drag him home.

Finally when we get in the door I lye him down onto the sofa and give him his warm soup and a fluffy blanket to put over him. I place the concrete block from his old home down near the fire place and I light the fire to keep us warm.

I snuggle under the blanket between Peeta’s legs and we cuddle all evening. Peeta is still shivering and sobbing a little in between swallowing his soup but after about twenty minutes he falls silent, fast asleep.

I know he is exhausted after a long day and so I am, I quickly down my soup and fall asleep next to him.

I feel a gentle pat that arises me “good morning” Peeta smiles, his usual calm self. “How are you today?” I ask concerned. “Good” he says giving me a massive hug and whispering “sorry.” “Don’t worry” I say “I break down too.” We snuggle up close.

It is noon when we finally decide to stop lazing around, I make both Peeta and I a sandwich while Peeta is taking a quick shower. We sit silently and eat. “It almost is like we’re married now” I say. Peeta laughs “yeah well” I smirk and go back to nibbling. “I’d like to visit the woods today if that’s okay with you?” I ask. Peeta slowly nods “just be careful” he says.

***

It feels beyond amazing to be back at what feels like my home now. I breathe in the fresh air of the woods and carry on venturing downwards. I pick up my bow and hold it, hasn’t been damaged one bit. The bombing never got as far as the woods, thank god. Well they don’t know that anyone from 12 comes here, as it was always forbidden. But that doesn’t matter anymore. And it sure as hell never stopped me from coming here. But I must say, it feels odd that Gale is not with me, no hunting partner, none of my real old life.

I shoot a few rabbits and pick a handful of strawberries and just sit silently at the lake for a while, thinking of everything that has changed in the past few years, missing my father who I would never see again and also missing Prim and Mother, who thankfully I will be seeing again.

I fill the unblemished lake water into the palm of my hands and let the coolness of it wash the sweat beads starting to enforce on my face away. I calmly grab my game and start to head back, starting to worry about Peeta a little bit though. He is struggling lately with his loss.