Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

“Gale” I say passing him on the hall on the way down to dinner. “Catnip” he says back but it sounds emotionless and not how he usually says it, smiling like the first time he said it. “Look I am sorry” I say quietly because I can’t cope with the feeling that he is angry at me anymore. “What for?” he says trying to drag it out, I know that he knows but he just wants to hear me explain. “Look Gale, I don’t want to hurt you” I simply add. Gale nods his head and says “I understand” “but you don’t” I say wanting to cry again.

“Katniss I understand more than you think I do” Gale says putting him arm around me, I flinch at the gesture and this hurts Gale more. “See Katniss, it’s not me ruining our friendship, it is you” Gale says with anger “you’re the one who assumes I want more from you, when actually I am just trying to be a good friend, and you won’t even allow me as that anymore, what happened to us? We used to be best friends. We always has each other’s back and I guess I was wrong to think that nothing could take that away, because guess what Katniss? It’s broken, we’re broken and trust me, we are beyond fixing point” Gale adds storming off with tears in his eyes.

Half of me wants to run after Gale and tell him about how hard things are and I actually really do want his friendship back and that I really miss him, but the other half of me knows this could make things worse. I hate myself, I am so lost. Every single time I try fixing something I make it worse. So why bother anymore.

“You on your way down to breakfast?” Peeta says putting his arm around my waist. This is when the tears prick my eyes. “Yes, I just need the toilet, meet you there” I say flinching away and out of sight by the time Peeta can say another word.

I push open the door to the storage cupboard and burst into a loud howl of repeated tears. I know I need to go and have dinner but I can’t seem to drag myself out of here. That is when I notice him, sitting the other side of the room, hands covering his face and small sniffles escaping that coverage.

“Oh Gale” I whisper and I wrap my arms around him. Gale takes the hands away from his face to reveal his shrivelled, red eyes, hugging me back. “I tried to make things normal with you so many times but it always ends in an argument and I can’t cope, I do miss my best friend” I say.

“No it’s my fault, I always pick an argument, probably because-“ “You hate me? I know” I finish off for him. “No I don’t hate you, it is just somewhere inside I feel envy or anger aimed at you, I don’t know… but it was so wrong of me” Gale says ashamed. “No it is not your fault in the slightest, just everything is so complicated at the moment and I am under so much pressure” I say. “I know I should be there for you though” Gale says. “You are, I was just too blind to see it” I say. “Friends?” Gale asks, putting his arm out. “Friends” I say back connecting my arm to his and rising from the floor.

We make our way to the dining room just in time to get our meals before the kitchen is shut for the night. Peeta is sat at a table alone and he is about three quarters of a way through his meal, I can’t help but feel guilty. My apologises can wait till tonight in private though.

“You alright?” I say sitting next to Peeta. “Yes” he says but he looks rather upset. I pat his back awkwardly but he gives me strange looks as if to say “what are you doing?” so I decide to give up on that and just eat my meal in silence.

As soon as Peeta takes the last bite he hurries off out of the room without even saying bye, this is unusual because normally Peeta would sit with me till we are both finished and we would stroll back together. “Do you think he is angry at me?” I ask Gale “No, probably just missing his family or something” Gale says but I know Gale is just saying it to comfort me. “Hmm” “Did I do something to him? He has been acting strange all day” I say “No, don’t worry, he loves you, he won’t stay mad long” Gale says.