Broken

Chapter 24

"Mami ? What's wrong?" I felt his little cold hands on my face as his little fingers wiped away my tears.

"I'm just sad because my baby has to go up to join the other babies in the sky." I said taking deep breaths to calm myself down. He sat on my lap not caring of the people that were watching. He took my face in his little hands and closed his eyes while bringing our foreheads together.

"Mommy it'll be okay. She's going to be okay where ever she's going. I am not going to leave you alone. I'll always be here for you. You saved me, you chose me." He said while his fingers caressed my cheeks.

"Thank you, Sylas." I said bringing my boy into a very powerful hug.

When I lifted my head Izzy was in tears and Jace looked at us with soft eyes. Mom was silently crying and Jonah just smiled at us.

"What time is it?" I asked no one in particular but it was Alec that answered in a small voice. 

"It's 8:35. You better get dressed fast if you wanna get there on time." He stood with Magnus at his side.

"Sylas, would you be okay here with my mom and Magnus? I'll be back in a little while okay?" I asked him as I slowly stood from my seat. He gently grabbed my hand, squeezed and made his way to Magnus's side. I nodded my head and made my way up to my room to change my clothes.

I was ready in 15 minutes. We all piled out of the house. By all I meant Jace, Jonah and me. we where the only ones that needed to be there at the moment. As I lead the way silently to the doctors office I recalled that Jonah and I had bought stuff for the baby, when we thought it was a boy. We needed to return it  or give it to someone who really needed it. I wasn't going to need it now that I was going to terminate. With that thought in mind I slowly turned to Jonah.

"We need to return it or give it away. All of it. I don't want anything. If you want to keep it that's fine but I don't want any of it." I said all in one breath. Jace regarded us with silent calculating eyes but I didn't care. I was hurting, breaking, dying. I didn't know if they even felt remotely the same.

He just looked at my eyes searching for something he instantly found for he nodded at me and we resumed our short walk to the clinic in silence.

Once inside the clinic I made my way to the front desk, gave my name and was quickly passed to a room.

There we waited for her to take our blood to test it. She was very careful with her questions all the time. But at last came the moment I dreaded the most.

"Miss Fairchild, I need to perform a sonogram to see how the baby is doing. If you would like them to step out just say the word." She said gently guiding me to the sonogram room. I considered leaving them to wait for me but thought it wouldn't be fair to them not to be there and experience that moment that I had. That indescribable moment when you witness life in its purest form. When you hear that small, rapid, little heartbeat. See the way their body is shaped, their extremities in development. I couldn't-wouldn't deprive them of that. Even if one of them wasn't the father.

"Its okay. They can be there with me." I said while pulling up my shirt to have my small bump on full display as she poured the cold gel on my stomach, moving the transducer to get a better view of my baby.

"There she is. You hear that boys? Its her little heartbeat." She pointed out her extremities and further explained how they came to the diagnosis of her condition. They each asked their questions on the subject.

They were paying attention to everything that was happening and everything that the doctor said but I just couldn't focus. I didn't hear her heartbeat or what the doctor was saying. I had this permanent ringing in my ears and I felt as if everything was in slow motion.

She ended the sonogram and let me get cleaned. They came back a few minutes later.

"Miss Fairchild, are you sure about your decision? This has to be thought very thoroughly. Even is you carried her to term her life would be complicate and if she does survive her life will be harder. Have you consulted with the possible fathers?" She said while sitting down in our chairs. She had this worried look in her eyes, concern too. But I was sure. The guys didn't object to my decision because it was mine to make and only mine.

"I'm sure doctor. It is a painful decision but I am sure. Its whats best for her and I have accepted that. I don't want her to live in suffering, I wanted her to have a beautifully normal life and she wont get that. So yes, I'm totally sure."  I said while silent tears strolled down my face. I had cried more this past week than in my whole life.

I was breaking, dying inside and no one could help me.

"Okay Miss. I just wanted to make sure that you had thought this through thoroughly and you have. I'm so sorry, Miss." She stood and gave me a tight hug I didn't now I needed. "You can come in tomorrow at the hospital across the street, at nine in the morning. Give the receptionist your information and these papers. I will call you in a few hours to reveal the results of the tests. I'll see you tomorrow." She instructed me while guiding me through the halls of the clinic. I was led outside into the waiting are where Jonah and Jace waited impatiently.

We thanked the doctor and said our goodbyes as we left.

"When will we receive the results?" Jonah said breaking the silence.

"In a few hours she will call and let us know." I whispered to them and that was that.

^%&%^&%

"Be careful with that Sylas! Don't point to that, it'll explode!" where the first words I heard as I opened the front door of the house.

And it, indeed, explode.

All over my new shirt.

It was some kind of purple liquid that smelled like jam. It tasted good though.

"Ooops." Whispered Sylas from behind the counter. His face was covered in grape flavored jam and his hair was sticking up in odd places with what looked like peanut butter.

And for the first time in a few days, I truly laughed.