Saved In The A.M.

9-Temporary Fix

———HARRY'S POV———
"Hey baby" I say as Louis opens his eyes. He's been sleeping on and off for the last few days but today is the second last day before the last 2 Japan shows of the tour and we are flying out there today so we can avoid being jet lagged and get familiar with the stage before we perform.
"Hey Haz" he says sleepily.
"I've packed your bag and everything but we need to leave soon for Japan, are you going to be right to perform?" I ask him.
"Yeah of course babe I just want to forget this ever happened" he says groggily as he slowly sits up.
"I know baby but while we're on the flight I think we all need to talk about it and discuss what's going to happen okay?" I tell him.
"Yeah I guess I knew this was coming" he replies.

Liam knocks on the door and I let him in and Niall follows suit.
"Hey mate" Liam sympathetically says to Louis.
"Hey" he replies.
"How ya feeling?" Niall asks as they come and sit on his bed.
"Still a bit tired but better I guess." Louis reveals.
"Well that's good then" Liam says, "hey though, do you reckon you're good to get up, the ride to the airport is going to be here soon" Liam asks Louis.
"Yeah" He says as he pushes himself up, grabbing onto the nightstand for support.

———LOUIS' POV———
"I'll just get changed and then I'll be ready to go" I tell the boys.
"Okay" Liam says and he and Niall get up to leave.
"I'll stay here with him" Harry decides.
"Alright mate" Niall says as they walk out the door, shutting it behind them.
"You don't mind if I get changed in the bathroom though? Just because I don't know erm" I look at the ground "I'm not really comfortable with my body"
"That's fine baby" he tells me "just make sure you leave the door open a bit if that's okay"
"Yeah of course" I tell him to clear his conscience.

I step into the bathroom with my fresh clothes in my hand and strip down completely, examining my body in the mirror not even realising tears have started to cascade down my cheeks and are hanging off my jawline. I still see tonnes of fat and know that I have to keep losing weight even though I told Harry I'd stop, I mean look at me, there's fat basically hanging off me, even though when I step on the scale which today reads 108 when I look in the mirror I see 200 which drags me back to reality, however I'm still glad that the few days I spent sleeping were a perfect reason to not eat. I want to cut but I know if I take too long in here Harry will get suspicious and come in so instead I fight the urge and put on my clothes and as I'm about to put my top on after stepping into my pants, I get extremely light headed and black spots start to appear in my eyes, I close them and grab onto onto the bench, top still in my hand, to keep me stable.

"Are you okay?" I hear Harry say to me as he opens the bathroom door. I open my eyes to see him looking at me worriedly, realising he's staring at my stomach, my mind immediately skips to him being able to see all my fat so I rapidly let go of the bench and slide into my top.
"Erm yeah m'all good, just lost my balance is all" I smile at him.
"Have you been crying?" Harry asks me as he wipes away the tears with his thumb causing me to flinch, not liking another person touching me even if it's just softly on my face and Harry, he can probably even feel how much fat I have just on my cheeks and then his eyes stop on my jaw, I bet he's disgusted by my double chin.
"I um I just saw myself in the mirror and for the first time I saw myself the way everyone else can see me and I just feel so bad for everything I've put you through" I lie. I don't see myself the way everyone else sees me. I'm disgusting and fat and ugly and gay and fucked up in the head so bad I'm basically a walking mistake.

———HARRY'S POV———
He stands there staring at me and I can almost see his thoughts, I don't mean to but I can't help but look at the scars on his stomach and get upset knowing if I'd been more observant or even just more appreciative and loving, I could have prevented them.

"Erm yeah I'm all good, just lost my balance is all" he lies to me. I was standing there watching him stand there for 5 seconds with his eyes closed before I even said anything then putting his top on at light speed as soon as he realises I'm there.
"Have you been crying?" I ask him after noticing his tear stained cheeks and I go to wipe the tears off and he flinches which ties my stomach into knots, knowing that he can't even let anyone touch him. His face is cold and his cheeks, sunken in, his jaw, razor sharp, his skin, dry and pale, his hair, flat and brittle.