Saved In The A.M.

8-Hey Angel

Now there's only a week left of the break and when I weighed myself today I saw that I'm down to 113 pounds which is kind of disappointing compared to how many pounds I lost last week compared to this week but I did all I could. Tonight we've all decided and by all I mean the other boys and certainly not me because if I had any say in this, I'd be staying at home. Anyway, we're going to a club/bar thing to have a bit of fun before we have to go back on tour and the reason I have to go is because I've literally ran out of excuses to get me out of something like this. I'm wearing a white YSL vinyl printed t-shirt since I hate shirts, and a denim jacket so my cuts are still concealed because I don't want anyone else to find out about them, my classic black jeans and my black and white adidas Busenitz trainers to top it off.

The bar is right around the corner so we decide to walk, enjoying the crisp air on the way. Harry is wearing a grey button up short sleeve shirt with only the bottom three buttons actually done up, revealing his whole chest and even a decent amount of his butterfly tattoo, black jeans, his Chelsea boots and a brown fedora which allows him to have his hair down but still keep it out of his face. Niall's wearing blue jeans, a grey baseball tee, a black bomber jacket and white hightop converse, today he's got his hair styled to the side which is different but it looks good. Finally, Liam is wearing washed out blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a grey checkered flannel and brown Timberlands.

"Right, is everyone ready to go?" Liam asks. Niall and Harry nod.
"Oh shit I forgot to put on cologne i'll just be one sec" I say as i rush back up to my room. I spray my Paco Rabanne, One Million on my neck and chest then run back down stairs steadying myself with the rail as I reach the bottom where Harry's standing.
"you right?" He asks me. "Yep fine, lets go" I smile. Liam looks up from his phone realising I've returned.
"Awesome, let's go lads" He says and we walk out the door, Liam pulling it shut behind us and we're off on our way.

The place is literally only about 700 meters away so in less than 10 minutes we're already there so we head straight up to the bar to get a drink and I check the clock which reads 9pm. A couple of drinks later and we've hit the dance floor dancing to whatever bop is playing then the boys went off to talk to some other friends we met there and drink some more and I didn't really see them for the next few hours until I was well and truly drunk and as I went up to the bar I saw Harry was already there too... With another guy.

"Heyyyyy Looouu" He slurrs, appearing to have consumed at least 4 more drinks than what it usually takes him to get drunk.
"Fill me up, double." I say to the bartender, ignoring Harry.
"This is my friend Matt" He slurrs again losing his balance a bit.
"Nice" I reply bluntly showing a quick smile, clearly indicating I'm pissed off. 
"For fuuuucks sake, what's going on with you?!" he yells, dragging out the "u".
"For the last month you've been saying you're going to deal with whatever is going on and I know you haven't dealt with it because the lyrics of the songs you've been writing, clearly give it away, whatever is bothering you, you have to deal with it now, it's fucking eating you alive mate and i'm getting sick and tired of watching it and I try my fucking hardest to help you but all you do is brush me off all the fucking time" He continues yelling, however struggling to keep his eyes completely open allowing himself to seem even slightly credible.
"yeah well maybe I can't deal with it okay? Have you ever thought of that?" I say back raising my voice, realising he must have forgotten the whole conversation we had yesterday.
"Well I cant fucking deal with you Louis, I can't" He then kisses whoever he is sitting with and with that I bolt out of there and head straight back to the house knowing exactly what I have to do.

I slam my key in the door after sprinting back to the house in less than 5 minutes, forcing myself inside struggling to drag my fat, drunk body up the stairs, tripping over multiple times. I head straight for the man cave where we keep all the alcohol and grab myself a bottle of whiskey. Next, I go through my room to my bathroom and pull out all the bottles of pills I have in the cupboard, New and old.