Saved In The A.M.

18-History

*** a few days later ***
———LOUIS' POV———
I ended up driving home to doncaster with Harry to pick up my things and on the way there we stopped at a bakery and had a cute lunch, then we took a walk to a river and sat there for a bit, soaking up the sunshine, feeling the rays hit our skin and reflect off each other's eyes. The eyes enhanced Harry's beautiful emerald green eyes and when he looked at me I swear to god it was as if I was looking into a rain forest or after winter melts away and the birds start to chirp again and the first of the buds on plants start to bloom. They are truly breathtakingly gorgeous.

As I sit here trying to make my thoughts into words and create a song out of them, I can't help but long for Harry who is out having lunch with Nick Grimshaw and some friends. Niall is visiting his family back in Mullingar, Zayn is out buying groceries and Liam is at the "gym" which is code for being with Cheryl but they're not ready for anyone to find out yet so they're keeping it under wraps. Me and Harry are okay now, he didn't say anything, he just started loving me again, I'm a little concerned but I don't want to dwell on it, I'm just glad I have my boyfriend back.

I decide I should probably have something to eat to get my brain working so I head over to the fridge to see what we have. There's a pack of choc chip muffins in the fridge and I go to grab one but stop myself when I remember that it's about 450 calories per muffin and I grab an apple instead which is only 100 calories. It's not like I'm restricting, I'm still eating but I'm just eating healthier, it's going to be good for me in the long run. After quickly scoffing it down and washing the stickiness off my hands, I sit back on the couch and am about to start writing again when my phone rings, I see it's my Mum and I pick up.

"Hey Mum"
"Hi baby" she says and I can sense some sort of worry in her voice.
"What's the matter?" I ask her.
"I'm so sorry baby I'm so sorry" she cries into the phone.
"Mum what's wrong what's happened" i question frantically.
"I didn't want to worry you because I knew you weren't well, please forgive me" she sobs.
"Mum what is it" I raise my voice stressfully.
"I've got cancer Louis" she stops crying.
"W-what?" I whisper.
"I've got Leukaemia, it's terminal" she elaborates.
"No, no you don't, I was with you days ago, you're fine Mum, you're okay, there's nothing wrong with you, you're okay" I ramble on.
"Louis baby, I've been having tests recently after losing weight unintentionally, having aching joints and extreme dizziness and they predicted the worst and it is what it is baby" she tells me.
"NO MUM NO" I cry.
"Don't cry okay, I didn't want to tell you over the phone but I didn't know when or if I'd be seeing you again and-" I cut her off though.
"There is no "if" Mum I'm fucking coming there right now okay, I'll be there soon, I'm not leaving you again okay, I'll be there" I wail.
"No baby you need time to process this, come tomorrow when you're in a better head state" she argues.
"No fucking way, I'm coming now." I continue to cry.
"Louis William Tomlinson, I am still your mother and I forbid you from driving until you've got a clearer mind, I refuse to let you have a car accident that could have been prevented" she says sternly.
"When did you find out?" I ask through sobs.
"Just then baby I'm still at the doctors, you're the first to know after Dan who is here with me, it's going to require aggressive and continuous treatment straight away so I have to go and discuss it with the doctors now okay"
"O-okay, I-I love you so much Mum, I'll see you tomorrow, I love you" I cry though double breaths.
"Okay baby, I love you too, see you tomorrow, no driving today okay?"
"Okay I love you"
"Bye Lou"

I immediately feel nauseous and sprint to the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet and vomiting up the apple I'd just eaten. My stomach heaves and the feeling of the food being expelled from my stomach is nostalgic and somehow calms me. Without having the strength to flush the toilet, I slide down off my knees and sit against the tiled wall, staring out into nothingness, trying to comprehend what I'd just been told. I feel nauseous again and am forced to vomit however only bile comes up and I'm just coughing and spluttering a whole lot of nothing, the tears are dripping straight into the water as I lean over the bowl. I feel a hand rest of my back which shocks me after not realising anyone had come home.