Underlying Hunger ✓

Chapter 24: EPILOGUE

I hand the man at the desk my boarding pass and walk into the tunnel that leads to the airplane. My mom does the same and follows me to the plane. I send a smile to the flight attendant that greets us and go to find our seats. We're seated relatively far back, but that doesn't bother me.

My hand instantly goes to open the window when we sit down. The view is of the other planes preparing for takeoff. I just sit there and think about these past two weeks.

After Blake told me how we felt, I was shocked, to say the least. I knew there was some type of affection we both held for each other, but it never crossed my mind that he loved me. Therefore, I loving him never did either. Nevertheless, my feelings for him were real.

He and I never made things official; we both understood I wasn't in the right place to have a relationship. The realization that I was worthy of being loved hit me hard.

I decided to find peace with Chris and my mom. I thought that maybe, just maybe, it'd help me find peace within myself, which it did.

With Chris, telling her everything was like a breath of fresh air. An overbearing weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders when I finally let someone in. I can happily say she and I have never been better and I plan on keeping it that way. Having a best friend that'll stick by my side means more to me than she'll ever know.

The difficulty with talking to my mom had been substantial. I had always pushed her away. The problem was, she'd let me. We were like roommates instead of family, but I wanted to change that.

Several tears were shed when we had talked a few days after my release from the hospital. She and I finally connected for the first time since my father died and it felt amazing. After coming to the conclusion that I do need help, we decided to search up a few places on the pamphlet the doctor gave me. It was a big step, but I knew it was right. When we found the perfect one with room for me, we booked a flight right away.

My body has been an issue for me for as long as I can remember; I had always been my own enemy. It has taken me several years to realize I don't need to be. I can be strong and love myself without feeling the need to be perfect.

But that won't happen overnight. Every day I still push food away no matter the want to get better. I want a better a life and I know starving myself won't help with that, but it's become an instinct I can't stray from. My body can't help but gag and mentally count the calories whenever I'm near anything remotely unhealthy. The thing is, my body does that on its own. Like I said, it's an instinct, but I don't want my body to control the way I view myself; I want my mind to.

"Welcome to Delta Airlines! We hope to have a safe flight to Atlanta, Georgia, so please get ready for takeoff." A woman says over the loudspeaker.

My mom reaches over and squeezes my hand. "Are you ready?" She asks.

I sigh and gently squeeze her hand back. "Yeah, Mom," A smile erupts on my face. "I'm ready."