Changes 🕷 Peter Parker [ON HOLD]

CHAPTER FIVE

WADE WILSON AND JACKIE LOGAN WERE IN CHINATOWN GETTING DIM SUM AND TALKING ABOUT HOW HE WAS NERVOUS ABOUT THE UPCOMING DATE HE HAD.

Vanessa and him had split almost immediately after they got back together in February. She had said she'd be able to deal with his hideous rotten avocado face, she couldn't, and as much as he'd waved Weasel and Jackie off it had hurt, which is why he was so nervous for the date he had later that night.

Hadley, the super hot vet he had a date with, had seen his face and knew that she'd have to stare at it throughout dinner- and sex if he got that far -and yet she hasn't called off the date.

Oh god, Wade cringed at the thought, what this was some dumb teen movie plot-

"Just calm down," Jackie told Wade. 

"Your date's going to go great and then you'll have a second one and then a third and then guess what?"

Wade looked over his Hago, "Give birth to Robot Jesus."

"What?" Jackie's eyebrows come together, "No-is that another Keanu Reeves movie plot?" Jackie, after a little over a year and half of knowing Wade still didn't understand his obsession with the actor. 

"The Matrix."

"Keanu wasn't a robot in that," Jackie argued.

"He was a human in a robot world, so human-bot? Roban?" Wade pressed his lips together as he tried to decide which word best described the Sci-Fi Jesus character.

"Roban," Jackie nodded, "Anyway, I was going to say then the two of you get together and adopt all the animals."

"I already have Seabiscuit." His dog- kind of stolen dog -was why he'd met Hadley; she had gotten to a Snickers bar and he'd worriedly freaked out and rushed her to the closest animal hospital.

Jackie shrugged, "And? You can still adopt all the animals."

"You only want that because Matt won't let you get one."

"And? I want a puppy!" Jackie whined childishly. 

"You visit enough to call Seabiscuit your own," Wade pointed out.

"Yeah but I want one I can fall asleep cuddling."

"I thought that's why you had Parker." Jackie reached across the table and hit his gloves knuckle with her chopstick.

"Rude," Wade scoffed.

"Whatever," Jackie rolled her eyes, "But like I said, calm your man tits. The dates going to go fine and you're going to adopt all the animals."

"I'll adopt half."

"All or the dates a disaster."

"You can't make sure my dates a disaster." Jacke rested her chin against her palm and raised a brow.

"Are you really underestimated me?" Wade laughed. Sometimes he forgot she wasn't that wide-eyed twelve-year-old anymore but instead a cooler, more capable, fourteen-year-old version of same wide-eyed twelve-year-old.

"Fine all the animals, but I better get a goddamn Matrix box set for Christmas."

"Kay," Jackie said as one of the ladies wheeling the food carts stopped at their table. Jackie looked at the pictures on the cart and smiled at the woman.

"Can we get two more shumi and pork buns please?" 

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i was going to write an actual plot-related chapter but then i remembered wade hadn't had a chapter yet.

6 comments for plot just fyi: ily guys