Changes 🕷 Peter Parker [ON HOLD]

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

MATT MURDOCK DID NOT HAVE A FUNERAL; INSTEAD HE HAD A MISSING PERSONS REPORT AND A SMALL PRAYER SERVICE.

Jackie sat in the pews next to Peter and Wade, both of whom held her hand tightly. Danny, Coleen and Claire and Luke sat behind them while Jessica, Trish and Malcolm sat behind Foggy and Karen in the wooden pews across the aisle.

The father, who had taught Matt's Sunday school classes was teary. He knew that Matt wasn't missing; that he was dead; that the blind boy who used to come into confession and talk about how he had lied to his dad about the missing slice of cake was dead in a hole.

That it was all Jackie's fault. Her eyes teared up and she pressed her lips together at the thought.

It's my fault Matt's dead. She brought the bombs. It's my fault those men are dead. She stabbed him; she shot the other one. It's my fault abuelo died. She wasn't there for him. It's my fault mom and dad died. She was the reason they'd all been out that day. It's my fault everyone around me dies.

"Now," the clergyman said, "Matthew's daughter would like to say a few words." Jackie on shaky legs stood up, Peter and Wade's hands lifted with hers until she shook them off to pass them.

She felt numb on her way up to the podium. Like she was having an out of body experience; that though she was moving her body, controlling every action, she wasn't the one calling the shots.

There was a heavy weight in her chest, and a thick fog in the forefront of her mind that no matter how long she stayed under the shower she couldn't get rid of.

The priest, as Jackie passed him pat her shoulder. Jackie took a deep breath as she settled behind the podium, and she shrugged.

"Matt wasn't my biological father, we all know that," she croaked, "But he was a good dad and an even better man." Everyone stiffly nodded in agreement. "And I keep waking up thinking I'll be my room and hear him shuffling around because I moved his coffee cup," Claire and Luke and Foggy all snorted. "Or that everytime I answer my phone it'll be him telling me to come home." Jackie sniffled. "And it's not and I miss him because, I know I have family, you guys are my family but he was my dad. And now he's not and I miss him so much."

Jackie clapped her hands over her face as she tried to suppress a sob. She heard someone get up from their seat as she started to frantically wipe the tears away. When someone put their hand on her elbow, causing her to jump, Jackie opened her eyes and saw Peter.

His eyes were stained red and puffy like hers were. He didn't look gaunt because he wasn't eating; everything Jackie tried to eat just came back up, no matter how much Trish- whom she was currently staying with -tried to get her to eat. He looked fine.

Because he didn't just lose his dad. He didn't kill two men.

She didn't deserve him.

Peter tucked her under his arm, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and lead her down the alter steps and back to their seats.

Foggy stood up slowly, large, ice cold tears ran down his down his own pinkened face as took Jackie's place at the podium.

"Matt and I, we met in college. One of the first things is said to him is that he was a hero. And yeah it hasn't always been smooth sailing but my opinion of him has never wavered; it will never. Matt Murdock is a hero, he's my hero and he's also my best friend."

Danny was the next person to stand at the podium. His expensive suit was neatly pressed but his eyes were glossy and there was a strain in his voice when he spoke. Like he was stopping himself from crying.

"I didn't know Matt, not like Jackie or Foggy here did. I actually new basically nothing about him. Only that he loved this city and that he loved his daughter," Jackie felt her heart clench, "And I'm sorry I didn't get to know him better. I wish I had. But I am glad for getting to know him while I could. Fighting alongside him. It was an honor."

Claire stood up after Danny. Her eyes were red and her lips were shaky and her nails bit into the sides of the podim.

"Matt was stubborn. He was head strong and always thought with his heart. He was also a good man; better than most men in this city," she breathed, "As a nurse I treated a lot of people. I saw a lot of people die, but no one will ever stick with me the way Matt has."

Jessica stood up as Claire walked down. Her face was pale and her leather jacket seemed to swallow her up more than usual.

Her eyes met Jackie's as she stood behind the podium. Jessica didn't like funerals; if it weren't for Jackie she would have skipped the service and gone to the bar.

"The first time I met Murdock I hit him." Luke and Trish snorted. "I thought he was some freak breaking into Jackie's room. He wasn't. Afterwards, after we left he dragged my drunk ass to the roof and he questioned me about why I was there, how I knew Jackie, what kind of threat I was to her. He was her dad before she even knew it," Jessica shook her head and shuffled her weight from foot to foot before continuing, "And basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I never went out for drinks with him."

After her the priest resumed his spot from atop the alter behind the podium and he looked at the supers and the ordinary people who concerned themselves with these peoples extroandry bullshit and then he looked at Jackie.

She was tucked under Peters arm, Matt had mentioned the boy a few times, always in a good nature, always ending with an opened unfinished threat. The Father sighed at the thought of the young man.

"If no one else would like to speak I'd like to share a story of Matthew, from his childhood." No one constricted him so the father went on, "Matt was six I think. His father had gone into confession with another priest that used to reside here so I sat down next to him. We spoke, he asked for my name I asked for his. He asked why I because a priest, I told him it was because I wanted to do good in life. I wanted to help people. When I was done I asked him what he wanted to be, he said like his father. While he achieved that, like Jack Matt died doing the right thing and the only thing that helps give me peace at night is knowing that at least Matt accomplished that. At least he saved the day one last time."

Jackie didn't burst out into sobs again instead, as the Father looked down at her, as her eyes glossed over and she looked out at nothing her eyes got this light them.

It made the priest's stomach knot up because it was the same exact spark Matt had.

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