a little fall of rain ≪jawyer≫

I Can't Believe This Is My Welcome Home

Sawyer runs up to us and knocks Shane onto the floor. He punches him in the face - hard. I can't believe this. I pull Sawyer away dorm Shane and stand in between them, but Shane immediately runs out.

"What the hell Sawyer?!" I exclaim.

"You're cheating on me! Only a month away and you cheat on me, I thought you loved me, but I guess I was wrong."

"I'm not cheating on you!"

"You were having sex with him and you kissed! I saw the video!"

"No, we weren't, we were making a fanfiction video, for Christ sake!"

"That still seems inappropriate!"

"So now I can't do anything with your permission?!"

"That's not what I'm saying, how would you feel if me and - I don't know - Tyler filmed a video where we pretended to having sex?"

"I would be fine with it."

"You're just saying that."

"You remember this ring? Your promise? About how everything would be fine?" I take the ring off and show him.

"Maybe you should have taken a look at that ring while you were fucking Shane." He says, coldly

"I can't believe how jealous you are getting."

"I can't believe this is my welcome home." A horrible feeling of realisation hits me. This is the man that I love, that I haven't seen in nearly a month and I'm yelling at him. "Well, don't worry, I won't be staying for long."

Sawyer turns around and begins to walk away.

"No, Sawyer, wait!" I go after him, but he picks up the pace. He gets in his car and drives off. I fall to my knees and cry on the pavement.

I cry for while, thinking over what could have been, what was supposed to be: I would be watching TV or vlogging, Sawyer would sneak up behind me, he would put his hands over my eyes and say 'Guess who', I would recognise his voice instantly and I would turn around to see the face I've missed for too long and kiss him.

It was supposed to be magical, but instead it was lurid.

Clouds, dark clouds, loiter over me. A wind, sharper then any razor, stabs through me - causing a spiking sensation to lurch down my spine. I think over what actually happened. It was so capricious, my eyes have never seen Sawyer to be a tartar and I don't recall myself being particularly choleric either. It was all caused by that contentious video, admittedly it was never apt to agree to do it, or to kiss him again. Maybe it was the innovation, maybe it was my tenacity to be glib about Sawyer's leave. But it was most likely my longing for him. Now I've just dug myself a deeper swale of discontentedness and only Sawyer can drag me out.

Sawyer's POV

I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe they did that. I can't believe I yelled at him. I can't believe anything. I think I need to lie down. I'm parked in a car park of a restaurant or a shop, I don't really know. I push back my backrest so that I'm lying down.

I think over what just happened, what had happened in the past and what will happen. I think about things from Joey's perspective and from my own perspective. But most importantly I think about how I feel. About what happened. About Joey.

Love. It's a tricky concept. Before, during and after. It's hard to understand before. It's hard to get a grip with during. It's hard to let go after. It's also an amazing concept. Before, during and after. It's fantastic to see before. It's its fantastic to feel during. It's fantastic to remember after.

Everything has it's positives and negatives. Nothing should be judged on one, but on both collectively. Unless you judge on the concept, that's the twist. Which one do you choose? Brain or heart? Brain looks at the logical side. Heart looks at the emotional side. It depends on who you are and what you want.

I choose

...

To go somewhere quieter, these cars are annoying me.

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Okay, so I realise that I keep writing HUGE paragraphs that mustn't be fun to read, so I've split these ones up. I like it.

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¡Gracias por leer!

Spanish, why not?

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Vote, comment and such! It would make my day! :)

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Love ou!! <3 (Is it me or does that heart not look right?)