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JUDGE: underatedpessimism The Writing style kind of confused me, because in the first chapter there was a car crash and then we suddenly went to the mother finding out about it. That contributed to the character building, where I had no idea what was going on. Your unique plot line is your strongest element:)
JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl Your strongest feature is your writing style. The uniqueness of the plot is pretty good too. You had many Grammer mistakes that made the story confusing at times. Also, the way you jump around can make the story confusing. You are telling the story as if we know everything about the universe/time period you story takes place in. You need to slow down and explain some things better in order to allow your readers to better understand it.
JUDGE: kaninga_duh The punctuation could be better, and adding one or two more commas wouldn't hurt, especially with a large paragraph. The first chapter had me hooked, and the character development was awesome, but you could make the bio longer, and maybe you can delete the last sentence, and let the readers discover why you've chosen "beginning of an end" to be your title.
JUDGE: kaninga_duh The cover was fantastic, it drew me in, making me want to explore more. But for me, I didn't particularly enjoy the book, because I've never been that much of a fan of stories that enter a whole new world without any similarities to the human world, but I can see why this book has won a few competitions before. It's writing style is good, doesn't jump from place to place and it has enough description, just enough to let the reader understand what's going on, while having a aura of mystery. Sorry if this offended you.
