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JUDGE: bby_winter09 Grammar: 4 points Character building: 5 points Writing style: 4 points Uniqunees of the plot: 5 points Overall Enjoyment: 10 points Total: 28 points Feedback: Nakakaenjoy basahin ang story na ito. Nakakatawa iyong bida:)iyong tipong kapag nakita mo iyong carbonara at pasta ay maaalala mo sya.
JUDGE: EurusAthena GRAMMAR - May mga pangungusap na hindi nagsisimula sa malaking titik. - Capitalize "mama" when it is used in place of a person's name. - Kapag gagamit ng dialogue tag (ex: aniya, sabi ko, tanong niya, sigaw ko), laging magsimula sa small letter at kuwit ang gagamitin sa dulo ng dialogue (quoted part). EX: "Alis na ako," paalam niya. - Kapag gagamit naman ng action tag (description of action that takes place after the dialogue), gumamit ng tuldok sa dulo ng quoted part at sundan ito ng malaking letra. EX: "Alis na ako." Tumayo siya at tumungo sa pinto. CHARACTER BUILDING - Good enough. Doesn't leave that much impression but not that bad either. WRITING STYLE - I suggest you avoid using "hahahhah" on narrations. Ipaubaya mo na saamin ang pagtawa. - Noticed some emojis and interjections on your narrations. With your writing style, I guess you could use one or two exclamations on the narration but please refrain from using emojis. UNIQUENESS OF THE PLOT - To be honest, I only read 3 chapters per entry that's why I don't comment much on the plots. This is one of those novels where after you read the first three chapters, the plot is already kinda predictable. That's why I read more chapters just to see if there's at least a plot twist or something. OVERALL ENJOYMENT - Those above are my comments as a judge, we have to be as formal as possible. As a reader, I'll say that this is wattpad and you can do whatever style you want. I still liked where your story is going. - This novel can go places with proper editing :))
JUDGE: AL G= 3 C. B. = 3 W. S. = 2 U. P. = 3 O. E. = 6 Total of 17 Magandang pagbati. Here's my Critique, Upercase ang napapansin kong error, may mga salita na hindi naman na dapat i-upercase na maaring gamitan nalamang ng (!). Pero naka depende parin sa iyo kung nais mong sundin ang aking payo. ^_^ pangalawa ay may mga maling pag gamit ng bantas. Marami man akong technical error na napansin ay hinahatak parin ako ng magandang plot para ipag patuloy ang pagbasa. Just improve your writing style ^^ and a friendly advice, masmabuting idaan mo na lamang sa salita ang mga tunog ng bagay. Kagaya ng "Naka rinig ako ng malakas na dagundong" iwasan po natin ang sounds effect.
