Billions Or A Beautiful Heart - undefined_xx
JUDGE: pixietrapper
I like the way you write it, catchy, full of emotion, I can imagine myself as Glen. You played with my emotions. But I found the title a little confusing. If I'm a reader looking for a good book to read, I will look for the cover and title first, If I didn't like the title or the other visual graphs, then I will never add that book to my library.
In addition, your plot is quite common, i've read many books about break-ups, then the guy will change, and when the girl come back he will plan for his revenge. But then, despite of that,you nailed it. I still enjoy reading it.
JUDGE: MrBendezedrine
Some of the plot points just didn't make sense. For example, if you saw someone having a seizure in the middle of a cemetery, shouldn't you call an ambulance instead of lowkey kidnapping them?
Broken Laws of Attraction - Sakshi_Patil2020
JUDGE: pixietrapper
I first notice in your story was your grammar, I think you need a lot of improvement with it. As I read it, you said that it was your first story, so I think that explains the lack of experience. But it's still acceptable. Every writer also been through that stage. But I suggest you to read books to gather vocabulary and right way to use punctuations.
JUDGE: MrBendezedrine
There were a lot of grammar mistakes, mostly with dialogue. The characterization was strong, but it was a little overdone. Yes, it's important to have strong female characters, but its overkill if half the monologue is just her talking about his disgusting men are. The character is overly bitter and seems to hate just about everything except her daughter. There were also random changes in POV without warning and it was confusing.
Chasing Danger - ashley96mc
JUDGE: pixietrapper
I was amazed by your grammar. I can't find any typographical errors. And that's a great
job. Though, i find your story 'mismatched' with your genre, which is romance. I can't your point and purpose on writing this story. What are you want to tell your readers? Better to put more catchy scenes to attract readers. Leave a page-turner phrase before ending your chapter to make it more interesting.
JUDGE: MrBendezedrine
I love it. I love the boldness of Aly, and I love the mysteriousness of Tyler. I love all the secondary characters with an influence on her, especially her mom, who gives look into why her character acts the way she does without ever explicitly showing it. I love the tension, and I just can't stop reading and turning the pages.
Claiming Her Stone Heart - Vishu4life
JUDGE: pixietrapper
COMMON. TYPICAL PLAYBOY FELL IN LOVE WITH A COLD WOMAN. Frankly, i've read many books like your plot. Readers look for a story that is fresh and new to their eyes. So to gain more readers, you need to br unique. Get it?
But your grammar became your good asset. You said you already edited it, but for me it still need a little polishing.
