A Stake Through His Heart - Vampirefreak_
JUDGE: 18Dragon
I loved reading this. I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy it at first but by the fifth chapter you had me hooked. You characters are well developed and I can imagine them in real life. And the plot is interesting and complex but at the same time easy to follow. Keep up the great writing!
JUDGE: mashton_loves_cake
The storyline was interesting despite it's cliche undertones. The writing however needs work. I don't know if English isn't your first language but a lot of times I was having to rearrange words or change the tense in order to understand. Also a bit rushed, perhaps in the future dragging out the feelings they feel. It was like a switch, one moment they hate each other, the next they love each other and we don't even know why they love each other. I did read all that was written as I was quite curious of the outcome. There were a few twists I didn't see coming. Also the flashbacks were very good. It really helped to understand what happened on thier past. With some practice it would be a truly great story. Keep it up!
JUDGE: anonymous
I like the title. There was way too many grammar mistakes. I advise you to clean it all up. I liked the character development between Ace and we got to see some foreshadowing, but most things in the story don't make sense.
Batty - JJRothschild
JUDGE: 18Dragon
Omg I completely fell in love with story. I just kept reading chapter after chapter. Your plot is so unique; I have never read a story like this before and I'm enjoying it. And adding the foreign language was a great way to make you story stand out even more. You characters gave me the sense that I actually knew them which I love to be able to connect to characters in a book. Keep up the wonderful writing!
JUDGE: mashton_loves_cake
The idea and characters were great, however I felt that I couldn't get a clear vision in my head of the lead guy character. First he's like 12 feet tall but then he is able to wipe tears gently from the cheeks of a girl who is 5 feet. It seems like the scale didn't make sense and confused me. Also if she's so small she can't reach anything I feel like she would grow frustrated. Other than that I love the uniqueness of the idea and the back story so far is interesting. It's well written and keeps the readers attention. Great story overall!
JUDGE: anonymous
I loved how you incorporated how they spoke Sumerian with the story. Very unique. Also your writing is fantastic! Although, in the first chapter there was a lot of info-dump. I'm a person who likes info-dump but for some it might just get boring. I also noticed you italicized words you thought as important (words like never, please, did). Unless it's a thought or place it isn't necessary.
Blood Line - AprilFitts
JUDGE: 18Dragon
I enjoying reading your book. Amelia was me favorite character by far she's strong and has sense of pride and isn't going to bow down to anyone. Like the main concept of the book but I have read things like your book before. I have to give it to you though that you turn an overused plot into something that was enjoyable to read. You gave a new spark to a plot that has been done. Keep up great writing!
