Diza Oneshots

Not Again David.

Narrator's P.O.V.

David walks in and sees everyone sitting in the living room, talking. "Guys! Listen up, I need some volunteers..." He says, stretching out the last words for emphasis. The gang starts to tense up, some looking around the room.

"David, I love you, but if it's a spider, I'm breaking up with you." Liza says, looking David straight in the eyes.

"I agree with Liza." Jason says, showing his fear.

"Jason. We're not dating." David says, confused.

"Oh right..."

"Anyways," David claps his hands together, "thank you for volunteering Liza and Jason."

"What! No! I have to go film, I'll see you guys later." Liza says frantically, she stands up and tries to walk out the door, but David blocks her. 

He leans in a whispers in her ear. "Baby, it's Thursday, you just posted. If you do this, I'll treat you tonight." Liza shudders before taking her seat once again. 

"Scotty, Zane, can you help bring it in while I blindfold them?" 

"Whatever, as long as it's not going on me, or Kristen, I'm fine." Scott says, getting up from his comfortable position and heading towards the door.

"What the fuck are we? Chop liver?" Todd asks, confused and frustrated.

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"DAVID! I AM FUCKING RAGING RIGHT NOW!" Jason screams, while behind the camera, David is laughing. "ONE DAY, I WILL GET MY HANDS ON YOUR THROAT!" 

After another minute or so of Jason yelling at David, he is in Scott's tub, blindfolded. Zane brings in the animal.

"David, I'm going to punch the Slovak out of you." Jason blurts out before David puts the Kangaroo in the bath tube and starts snickering.

"Jason, it's in the bath tub with you. Remove your blindfold." David points the camera at Jason to capture his reaction. Jason's heart starts to beat uncontrollably, his mind thinking about the things that could possibly be in the tub with him. As he removes the blindfold, he sees a glimpse of the animal, and Jason being Jason, thinks its a snake. He jumps up, mimicking the Kangaroo, and bounds out of the bathroom, not looking back. "Jason, go see what it was!" David yells, running after Jason, who is now in the living room, shaking.

"I know what it was! It was an effing snake!" Jason starts to walk back towards Scott's room. He walks in the bathroom and sees Bryan holding the Kangaroo, who's name is Skippy. "God dammit, David! I hate you!" He walks over to Skippy, his paternal instincts kicking in. 

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Ten minutes later, Liza's in the same tub, blindfolded, freaking out. "Ok, Liza, it's in the tub." David says, panning the camera to Skippy, and then back to Liza. She squeals with fear when Skippy brushes her leg. Gripping David's hand, she takes the blindfold off slowly. 

"Oh my god!" She squeals with joy as she reaches out to pet Skippy. "Can I touch it?" She gets a nod of approval from Bryan. "This is the best thing you've done while dating, David!" 

David turns off the camera. "We've been dating for two years! How is the best thing?"

"I was joking, bubba." 

"Oh. Sorry, isn't he cute?" David says, attempting to change the subject. 

"You still owe me, don't think I forgot." Liza winks, before returning to stroke Skippy with her boyfriend. 

"I didn't.."

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A/N Sorry for the short chapter, I may post later today to make up for it!

Unedited. 571 Words.