To Live Is To Fight (#2)

Chapter 34

I passed Jerry on the way out of the living room and immediately ran to him, seeking for a much needed hug. His face broke into a concerned one and he wrapped his arms around my trembling body.

I haven't seen him since I got here but I was relieved that he was there when I was about to have a melt down. He has always been a father figure to me and I probably needed that the most right now.

"Oh Case, I'm so sorry." Jerry whispered in a broken voice that mirrored how I felt. I simply shook my head as I kept my face pressed to his chest. The pain was too much and I felt like I was going to burst. I felt myself being pulled to the direction of the kitchen as he sat me down on one of the stools under the kitchen counter.

"Tell me what's wrong," Jerry coaxed, sitting down on the stool next to mine, bringing his arm to hug me sideways and I leant towards him, not knowing where to start.

"You told me when I made that choice to not tell Adam who I really was to him that he deserves the right to know but you also told me that you wouldn't interfere with my decision because it was my choice to make," I begun, sniffling as I spoke softly.

"I didn't regret my choice of drawing this distance between Adam and I because I honestly do think that I'm bringing all sorts of danger to his life by being with him and it was proven by that accident." Fresh tears sprung into my eyes when Jerry tried to defend me after I voiced the guilt I was still feeling.

"That was not your fault, Case. It was an accident and you couldn't have controlled it." I could tell that Jerry was trying to put his point across because his voice turned steely on the edges but I managed to shake my head stubbornly. I decided that I couldn't explain myself properly to him unless I told him the entire messed up situation I was in right now.

"Jer, I've been street fighting for years now and when Adam told me about Carla and how you were struggling with the bills, I joined this competition to win some money and help you guys secretly with those bills. I didn't realize it then because it was all about saving Carla at first but I now realize that I made a reckless mistake. I underestimated how dangerous it was to participate in a competition where ruthless people partake in." I kept my head down as I tried to tell him my story in the shortest way possible. I was ashamed of what I've done to disrupt the peace and quiet of his family.

"I attempted to quit when Carla passed away but there was that man who appeared during her funeral. Apparently I injured his brother in a fight and he demanded I continue fighting in the competition or he'll hurt the people I love. I was terrified but Adam was sure he was bluffing so I tried to believe Adam but the next thing I knew, he almost died not long after the threat was made." I wiped my soaked cheeks. I was scared of what I would see if I raised my head to meet Jerry's eyes. I was scared of the resentment I might see.

When I heard no response for him, I continued talking to stall time from having to make eye contact with him.

"That night I chose to keep my distance with your family as much as possible while still being there for you guys after Carla's death because I made your wife a promise that I intend to keep. I thought that maybe by keeping my distance, the next set of people who's feathers I accidentally ruffle won't be out for your family's blood. I don't have anyone to blame but myself for my thoughtless decisions but even then, I didn't regret not telling Adam who I really was to him."

I finally looked up, searching his eyes for any hatred or disgust directed at me. Thankfully, I found none. Nothing but sadness and concern were in there. "Does it make me a bad person for not regretting keeping things from Adam and crying about the consequences of that action?" I asked him while still searching his face. I knew that he probably knows about Kiara since the Jones' boys weren't really shy about the girls they were seeing.